A Growing Girl.

You can tell when I come back to my blog and when I need it because I write like a maniac about how I can’t keep going lol.

School is getting more intense. I am now in my acoustic physics class and DYING to pass this so I can get on with everything. The book work surprisingly comes way easier than the scanning, but all in time, scanning can be learned.

Above all, I love my daughter more than scho0l. I wish I could spend time with her but I really want to finish this so I can support her with everything she could ever want. When I look at her she melts my heart. She is so cute and so lovable. Im already getting sad that she is getting bigger and wants me to hold her less. I just want to squeeze her all day long (even if she does puke or poop all over me).

Father’s day was fine until today. I sort of broke down a little after class, on my way to work.  I of course miss my daddy. You see all over facebook pictures of people’s dad’s. I wish I could see him again and have him hold Brea…

I miss Seth. Seth is the little man who first made my husband and I parents. He is the little guy who made our worlds, made us happy, made us cry, made us who we are.  He led me down this path of ultrasound. He gave me hope to move on with my future even when it seemed like nothing else was going to work for me. This month Brea will be 6 months. Seth would have been 21 months… Almost 2 years old. My little boy who I desperately wanted first…. I cannot believe it… Two years, where did the time go? it seems like just yesterday my life changed.

I remember finding out that I was pregnant, it was a scary moment. Soon after that, it was the best moment. Ill never forget the 8 long months that I knew my son, it was the best 8 puking months of my life!

If you wonder how I am getting through physics or how I am getting through this awful school load and work and baby managing… it is because of my son (and daughter), mom, and dad. These people gave me a reason to live. Gave me a reason to keep going. I just want to do something to make a difference in people’s lives, and most importantly- I want to do this because I want to remember Seth. I want to remember and relive every second I had with him…

No one knows until they have lived it. They think scanning is all fun and games till you experience real life. They think life is all fun and games until they experience moments…. Moments that change your life. That moment when a complete turn around happens in your mind. If you dont make the turn around positive, It will consume you with an awful depression.

Of course I still get upset when people yell at me or get disappointed in me, mostly because of what I have gone through, I just dont want to feel hurt anymore. I have learned to get over it and try to move on. I must make myself happy and do the right thing.

I guess I figured if I could not get encouragement at this moment for this class then I wanted to make it on my own and remind myself why I am doing this.

This is my encouragement. This is my love . <3.

besides all of my ranting— about Brea

-she can babble to anyone for hours. She grabs her feet all of the time. She scratches everything all of the time (bed, skin, shirts… idk it is weird). She tries so hard to crawl but cant. She holds her bottle till it falls out of her hand lol. She can sit up with support, almost by herself. She knows when  she is talking to mamma. She can scoot out of her chair and onto the floor. She has 2 animal blanket rattle things lol, a monkey and zebra- she LOVES those things. She loves her sing-a-ma-jigs, she laughs when they sing and she tries to eat their noses. She pushes away from me when I hold her except when she is tired first thing in the morning or sick. She hugs me when she is tired. She always welcomes kisses with an open mouth . She is getting some meat on her and is sooo beautiful.

I love this girl .

Motherhood

I know it has been so long but I have just been so so busy.

Must vent!

I’m exhausted. I’ve cried every day this week because from 5 in the morning to 10 at night it is all about the baby all of the time. She sleeps good and shes a good baby but she eats ALL the time and poops all the time and needs attention all the time… I know, its what I expected and I am so thankful and I said that I would never complain but sometimes I need some help. 

It’s a little too much to ask for 1 day to myself ( or not even to myself, just for 1 day with some help). Now I will be starting school and be in school ALL day and practicing scanning (sonography) after school. Between weekends and Monday I work about 33 hours. When I come home I have to feed and bathe the baby and put her to bed and then Im ready for bed, only God knows how I will be able to study to pass this program. 

It would not be so bad if I had help. Im not going to make this a bashing thing but let’s face it, I dont have any help at home… Im very very bitter about it because Ive asked so many times and nothing works. It makes me sad because its just making me a bitter person. I want more children but cannot and will not have any more most likely because I cannot do this all myself all over again. 

Its not been a good few weeks. Of course I am very scared about school (im paying a lot of money, I want to pass). Im worried about my sister (shes 19 and is not and should not have to be on her own but someone else in this house is not being nice about helping her… I will not put up with someone not caring about family). My mom is chugging along with her battle with cancer. Im so proud of her. She’s so brave and she’s gone through so much treatment and hospital stays and bad days and good days and she’s got this – we all know it!

home just has not been good to me lately. I feel like Im batteling a little bit of depression, not because I can’t handle the problems but because I cant put up with certain problems… or people. I would much rather be away from home (not the baby… just home). Shopping, work, school, cleaning the car out- anything is better than being at home. 

I really do want sleep though. Im very sleep deprived this week which does not help. The baby sleeps perfect. 12 hours straight through every night since about 2 months. Im just so tired because… I guess because Im aggravated at home. I always used to say that I would spill my guts out all over this blog but sometimes I just cant for the sake of keeping  half decent relationships with people since I know they read this. 

All I want for mothers day (which I know I wont get), is to have no one argue with me, and be by myself. no noise, no aggravation, no responsibilities to tend to every waking (and sleeping) moment of the day.. That is not possible, and its ok. I just need to see that Im going to get help during the school week or things are going to change in my life really fast. 

 

Brea has been growing like a weed. She sits up with assistance. She eats baby food now (we just tried peas tonight- she HATES them … ). She babbles alot. Smiles alot. Poops alot. Eats every three hours. Sleeps 12 hours a night. Takes a couple of naps a day. Refused the pacifier a month ago and now sucks on her fingers all of the time. Shes 18 weeks and 1 day today. Shes my world. She makes me smile. She makes me get up. She makes us all happy when we’re having a sucky day. Shes the sunshine to me and my momma. She is my beautiful baby. I could not live without her. I will give up whatever I have to if it means that I will always have her to take care of (at least till she doesnt want me to anymore when shes 30 ). 

Welcome baby!

Its been such a long time because— you guessed it- Brea was born!!!!!!!

I have had such a hectic 3 weeks that I feel very much like I have lost 10 years of my life.

It was so hard to keep it a secret, I didnt want to come out and write my induction date (because we wanted to soak up Brea to ourselves in those first hours) but I was induced at exactly 38 weeks for my hypertension and I was ready. Brea was born on December 28th at 11:49 AM.  My pitocin started at 4:50 AM and I was 4cm dialated coming into the hospital. at 7:40 the Doctor came in and broke my water, my mother in law showed up soon after. My mom showed up around 9:30 (she was not feeling well  so she came later) when my contractions were getting a little out of hand. I was breathing through them but with much difficulty. At 10 AM I begged for an epidural, I was 6 cm then. 10:30 AM the epidural was in and it was AMAZING- no regrets, I totally felt better. the nurse checked me and I went to 10 cm in just that time that I was getting the epidural done. Around 11 AM I started to push and with each contraction (because I felt the urge very much to push).Steven stood on my left and held my leg and whispered how amazing I was doing. My mother inlaw held my right leg because my mom was in a lot of pain (but I know my mom would have loved to) Im glad my mom stood right next to me on the right and told me how close Brea was.  I was so excited that she was finally coming so I pushed with all my might . My doctor came through the door at just the right time (after he had been drug stat to another room on his way to delivering my baby). Speaking of, I love my doctor,  he was great with the delivery and care of the pregnancy and baby… I pushed about 3 times once the doctor was there and there she was, screaming in my arms. I couldnt help but cry. We all cried. It was the best moment of my life. My baby was here, moving, screaming, and breathing. She was all mine now. Every one on the whole floor seemed excited for me. The nurses took the baby and cleaned her, Steven went with them (he was very sick that day and night but he was totally involved and excited). Brea’s face and arm was bruised just from the way she came out of the birth canal but she was perfect either way. I didnt sleep for the next two nights. Overwhelming fear of her choking, not eating, and me not knowing what to do kept us both up. I winded up sleeping for like 1 whole hour with her in my arms in the bed, I dont care what the nurses said, I was going to hold her if I wanted.

We stayed from Friday to Sunday and we needed all the time we could get at the hospital so we could get all of those first time parent questions answered. We were clueless and completely fearful. But this was the most exciting time of our life.

We went home Sunday afternoon and on New Years went back to the hospital because Brea’s eye was infected and her Jaundice was terrible. They ran tests and admitted her due to the high bilirubin. She had to be kept under UV lights with these goggle things on her eyes. I was a mess. I cried all night long and I was exhausted- pumping and feeding EVERY two hours on the dot. Finally at 2 AM I broke down and called my mom and cried into the phone for about 10 minutes before I heard this desperate “Im so sorry, I wish I could be there for you right now”.

Automatic fear… I heard something in my momma’s voice that I have never heard before…. At that same time, my mom was across town, in the main hospital. She had been in pain for months and finally had it. She went to the ER and they told her that they found cancer. I lost it when she just said “I have to tell you something”…. I knew already what it was. I fell in my chair in that hospital peds room and screamed. (To this day I do not know how no one else heard me and came to check on me). I cried so hard that my face was puffy and  tomato red… How could I be sitting here complaining about getting no sleep and not knowing how to handle this baby (the thing I have prayed for all this time) while my mom was sitting alone in a hospital stretcher waiting to be moved to the oncology floor. How could I. How could this happen? This is the woman who is my ENTIRE world. She taught me everything. She grew me up. Taught me everything I know. Without her I would have not survived  Without her I would be an orphan. Without her I would be incomplete. She is a beautiful woman, strong, courageous, my mentor. I love her. I cant wait till she gets better.

We have yet to 100% find out where the cancer is coming from but they think it is from the uterus (which they removed). (The cancer has moved to the lung).  She has an appointment with the oncologist on the 30th.

So now you know how my last three weeks have gone. I have been running back and forth to mom’s house to see her with the baby. The baby is good medicine to her. I love my daughter and I hope to be here for a long time for her so I really plan to start changing my lifestyle.

I bought this book to share with my mom called the cancer-fighting kitchen and it has a bunch of cancer fighting foods in it. I would like to make something out of it once a week at least and phase out my diet to include healthy foods. I also will promise myself to get my pap done every year for my mom’s sanity sake.

I start school in a few months… days are just flying by. Feed, burp, change poop, bathe. Theres no time for anything else, I barely get time to take a shower. I love it all so much, it is just stressful and very very sleep depriving. I dont remember a night where I got more than 4 hours of sleep (broken up or not).

At least we have a good baby… except for some colic shes adorable and barely makes trouble.

Uncharted territory, 34 weeks

Well, We have come to 34 weeks, about the time that I had Seth in September of 2011. From here on out, this is all new to me. The bigger baby, the heavier feeling. It is all very welcome but I am ready to have this baby. Im ready to meet my daugther. I went to my specialist today. He said that everything is looking good but my blood pressure is still borderline at home. I just have to keep taking it daily and all. I asked about the baby’s weight. I am a little concerned because well- the baby is almost 6 pounds!!!! HOLY MOLY. Ok, so shes exactly 5lbs 10 oz to be exact and is 18 in long. Seth was born at 34 weeks and weighed 5 lbs exactly and was 19.5 in long. So The doctor said that she will probably be on the big side of the average scale (shes running in the 80th percentile) but in a way it is good news. HOW?? (a freaked out mother like me would ask lol), he said that usually hypertension causes a baby to be small so at least we know that my blood pressure is not effecting the baby because she is a little large. To that I replied- so what kind of weight are we looking at here?  The doc said that he does not want me to go past 39 weeks (Im measuring a week ahead anyways) so if they schedule me to have the baby between 38 and 39 weeks he’s guesstimating a baby around 8.5 pounds…. (!!!! HOW AM I GOING TO DO THAT???) lol… I guess it sounds scary but it is only scary because this is really happening, Im so close and Im really going to have a baby .  Ill be 38 weks on Dec. 28th and it is my goal to have this baby no later than the 30th lol… Ill be doing all kinds of jumping jacks and squatting and walking. I cant wait- Im 4 weeks away from having this baby (most likely). It would be cute to have a Christmas baby but honestly- I want to enjoy my Christmas food- ugh I cant wait, it just sounds so good thinking about it (the food). Man all of this baby day dreaming is getting me all crazy .

Wow I have so much to do! washing, fixing the baby’s room up, baby shower…. Speaking of, I am having my baby shower on Saturday. I was not excited until today. (this may get confusing) I work at a hospital, all of our local hospitals (4 of them) are owned by the same company, I work at a central/south location. Well today I went to the main campus downtown (where my mother in law works) because one of the cardiologists was having a baby shower and I made her a little owl security blanket and got her a few gifts. (I freakin love this doctor she is sooooo cute!) Anyways it was so much fun to see her smile and have a good time! I am glad that I went because it kind of put me in the mood for my own; I have not at all been wanting to have a shower. Thankfully my mother in law is helping out with the cake and punch and some early arrivers will help me set up the decoration stuff. Im just so excited that its so stinking close now lol. I feel like I have sooo much to do and so little time to do it! Really my husband is the one who has all the work to do. .

In home news, we are all moved it, it is not exactly as organized as I want but Oh well, I cant do much at this point with limited bending and such. Aida (our husky), has adjusted well. She sleeps alot but Im soooo glad to see her feeling a little better. I think she was sad about leaving the other dog that she hung out with at my in laws but that was a great growing experience for her. She has had no accidents in the week that she has been here. The only thing is that she was not eating at all… unless is was human food and I didnt want to give her any till she started to eat her dog food. Well FINALLY today I took her for a walk and when we came back she went to her food bowl and ate her food (VICTORY IS MINE!). So proud of my baby girl . She even has been loving on me and sleeping next to my side of the bed the last two nights because Ive been sick (she never sleeps on my side, she loves her dad so much). I had a fever last night and yesterday I was just sick all day long and she just slept right next to me and never left my side, shes still sleeping next to me as I type this.. I love that girl

Ok, Ill stop all my crazy talk, I really need a nap so I can rid this awful sinus thing I got going on.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most wonderful woman in the world, my MOMMA! Im so happy to have you around and I hope it was a good day. I owe you a cake when Im feeling better and I have no chance of contaminating it and getting you sick

some news

So today starts a VERY long 10 weeks. Yesterday when I went to my perinatologist they did an ultrasound and the tech said that everything was looking good. the baby still had her head enveloped and smooshed against my placenta lol, but at least she is head down again. She was 3 lbs 5 oz and 15.9 in long. I will be 30 weeks in a couple of days. Im excited but now Im very nervous because they told me that my blood pressure has slowly been rising in my logs and that they think it is best for me to not continue working. They are specialists, this is their job to make me and the baby stay healthy… but its hard to accept. So starting today Im not working until after delivery. I cried last night before bed, I cried when I woke up today, and I cried when Steven called me. Financially it is scary (I took out short term disability hoping to use it for the baby but now, if I even get accepted, it will be all used up by the time the baby gets here).  What is keeping me sane is the fact that this is my favorite season, my daughter is on her way, and I have a ton of cleaning and preparing to do. What is driving me crazy is, now I have to limit my baby spending, which is my favorite thing to do- baby shop.

Sometime this week I have to complete yet ANOTHER 24 hour urine test to look at my kidney’s and the effect my blood pressure is having on my body (that sucks). Everything is going to be all smooshed into weekly slots now because I see my specialist every Monday and my OB every Thursday until the end.

So I guess the point of me staying home is to lessen my anxiety and my blood pressure so I will try to do my hypnobirthing a little bit every day and keep calm. In 4 weeks, it will be the the same amount of weeks in which I lost Seth. That is going to be hard to cope with. Tip-toeing past every day  from that point, wondering if we’re going to make it.

I feel so guilty for not working because Im not sick, Im just pregnant with high blood pressure. I hope my husband does not feel burdened but I hope too that work continues to pile up for him. He loves to work. He told me the other day that he is glad that work has picked up because it makes him feel like a man and he is glad to be busy. I pray that he gets a full 40 hours of work every week through the end of this medical leave I have to take.

There are jobs I can try to get at the hospital like sitting jobs (sitting with the elderly and baker acts) but if I am being paid by my employer then I am not on FMLA like my specialist requested and they can refuse treatment and my insurance can refuse payment. ….

I just feel like poop not doing anything productive but I promise to keep up with the housework, finish all of the baby projects I started, and take good care of myself daily now. This will eventually end and I will eventually have my job to go back to, Thank the Lord.

Its almost November :-O…. oh my word, this baby will be here soon.

The norms of pregnancy going on week 29

It feels like forever since I have written but time is flying. I literally wake up in time to get ready for work, rush to work, rush home, eat, go to bed. everyday. lol… all I do literally is eat, sleep and work. I love it, Im thankful. Im just exhausted from the pregnancy. It now takes a good 2 minutes to roll over in bed (which happens every 15-30 minutes at night) because I have so much pressure when I move. The severe insomnia has set in within this last week. I barely sleep it seems like I just toss and turn and stare at the clock all night long. There is laundry all over, dishes in the sink, half finished blankets I have not worked on for the baby, ugh, I think I will literally save up some money for someone to do my nesting cleaning for me because I cannot move without being in pain. I do remember it getting harder around this time with Seth but I was not as big as I am now so bending and moving was at least still manageable.

In 2 days I get my 4D ultrasound WOOOHOOOO! Im pretty excited about that, so is my husband and everyone else of course, I cant wait to show you all pictures and videos.

Im starting to not fit in my work uniforms and they are expensive and of course have to be the hardest color to find in the book (pewter) *yuck*…. so Im just squeezing into them till the seems rip because I refuse to buy anymore because Ill already have to buy some after I lose my baby weight and go back from maternity leave.

Oh I forgot to mention, in 2 days I also have my glucose diabetes test. Ugh, last time I had to drink that stuff- on the last gulp, I almost threw the whole thing up. It was pretty awful. Pray for a good round this time and that its all ok, I cannot give up sweets this pregnancy, its all I crave. From this week on I have a doctors appt. every week! I cried  on the way home from work last night when I realized that I will be 30, yes three-zero, 3-0, thirty, 30weeks next week! oh my word we are so close to the finish line . I will still be anxious to the end of course because I lost Seth at 34 so I will never feel calm about ending a pregnancy but here’s to the rest of the pain, sleepless nights, and awful mood swings-

all for you my lovely daughter.

Drawing near

More and more I find myself thinking about this baby in me. I see others post on facebook about their children, and I think about motherhood. I do not want to be a selfish mom. Of course I should not let myself go but I do not want to have the best of the best while my child is mediocre. I will not complain about my child or their health because I know what it is like to not have them here. I will not use them as an excuse to miss out on things or leave work or leave an activity. There will be times of course but I have a good feeling that God will give Brea a great temperament, He knows what I can handle. I will promise to not make people feel sorry for me when Brea’s not doing how I want her to do- because I will love her unconditionally with all of my heart, forever, and again, I know what it would be like if she was not here to do that.

It’s hard to say I wont shove Brea in people’s faces lol, Im going to be so excited. as the time gets closer every day I think about the joy of delivery and seeing her. I just cant think of living without her. This baby will be my baby. Steven and I made her, she came from me, and she will be taken care of by us… that is so crazy. She will always be around for the next 18 years and I will be responsible for leading her through life. What a gift! I wish times were super stable and I was finished with school because this baby brings to the table, feelings of family. Both my husband and I want a lot of kids because he has almost no family (no living siblings either) and besides all my aunts, uncles, and cousins, I have just my mom and sister. (although I cant imagine living without aunts, uncles, and cousins. We want to have a family for our kids to fall back on, siblings who will be each others best friends…. I just have to remember that school is not that far away from being over. I only have 16 months from May 2013 till im finished, which will be here before you know it once Brea is born.

I have another ultrasound on Tuesday and I cannot wait!!! and then Oct.25th I have my 4d Ultrasound YAY! October is already here and it is so exciting. That means if I happen to go into labor around 38 weeks, it will be the week of Christmas and that is only 2 months away from October! Oh my goodness! lol. Im praying for a last week of December baby because it will make nerves, money, and everything else under the sun easier. <3 Heres to a happy healthy baby.

Happy first birthday; to the man of my life

365 days. 1 year has flown by since Seth was born. He would have been 1 year old today.

I have A LOT of anxiety today. I woke up at 2am and had super bad heartburn and could not sleep, I sat up in  bed till about 4 for reliefe. I have been super super super paranoid about baby brea moving, I have not felt a strong crazy moving from her since a few days ago (even with a coke in hand). after much praying she barely kicked this morning and it was enough to relieve my hyperventilating anxiety.  she moves but not a lot. Im going to talk to the doctor next week about it.

Sunday went better than I expected. Probably because no one noticed that Seths birthday was coming up and of course no one remembers that he was born on a Sunday except for our family. No one mentioned him. I wanted people to at least remember him, but I did not want to be asked about him.

Seth, you are my first child, my first son, and the first time I was ever given the opportunity to love someone SO much that I almost jumped out of my skin. I never knew how much love could be felt just by having a child. It is unspeakable. It is amazing. I cry because I miss you, because I wish I could have stopped it, because I miss the dreams I had for you, and because I see everyone else with their almost 1 year olds and just want to fall apart. You have consumed my life and thoughts and have dictated this pregnancy. Everything I do, I think of how different it would be if you were here. I have nothing planned for your first birthday but I wish I did. I wish it was grand. (sounds crazy but I wanted to take a cruise to be away so I could make this day happy for you, but Im too far along to climb aboard according to the lines). I hope it is a beautiful day in heaven. I hope the angels are singing and you get a break from your homework and all the 1 year olds come over to your nursery so you can all play harder than you have ever before. Grandpa Strait and great grandpa strait can visit you and tell you sweet stories about mommy. I can hear them laughing now. Its such a beautiful sound.

I heard the pastor preach on heaven and hell this week at church and he said all the things I ever wanted to say in the most perfect way. Why do I believe in heaven? 1. because my mommy told me so. Mom and dad taught me everything there was to know in the bible that spoke of heaven because I wanted to know. i remember at 4 asking momma and dad every question I could think of and they both sat down with me and like a grown up told me the straight up truth. 2. because my heart tells me so. Part of me died the day you did Seth and I felt the tug of heaven. I felt it in my grasp. I felt you leave my arms and go rest in Jesus’. I have felt this way about my own daddy after he died but you led me up to the gates and went on without me, like the big boy you are. I feel it in my heart. 3. My savior tells me so.  “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you” john 14:2. I believe that what God says is true. He would not have lied just for fun. In fact, you cannot catch Jesus in a lie ANYWHERE in the Bible, so why would he start with what he says here?

I miss everything about you. You felt so perfect in my arms. You were warm and chunky and so beautiful. You were a baby in my arms. I was a mom holding her son.

Dont forget me. One day we will meet, I wonder how old you will be then. Daddy and I miss you. I remember how family like it was 365 days ago. How close we drew together to plan your funeral. You were the closest thing we had to having everything.

I will never forget you. I cant believe it has been a year. You are precious.

 

The year that has brought me here

Today is Sunday. September 23, 2012.

These next few days are going to be rough ones.

Seth was born on September 25th, 2011 (this year it falls on Tuesday) on a gloomy Sunday morning like today.

I have been avoiding writing- in fear of history repeating itself, in fear of remembering what I felt that day, in fear of facing the truth that my son would have been 1 whole year old. 1 year.

I remember that morning. I woke up around 7 when the nurses shift changed (I was happy, I loved my day nurse). I had been contracting for 16 hours. Around 8 or 9am my water broke and my father in law had left for church while my sister, mother, mother in law, and husband, sat around me with saggy black eyes. we just sat their quiet ALL morning. While those at church were praying for a speedy delivery, I did just that, delivered my baby boy with no problems at 11:30.

Wow it has been a year. what do babies do at 1 year old? What would he have looked like? In the year I think I have hardened my heart to some bitterness because time grows further away from that moment when I met Seth. I notice that I am not so angry at pregnant women but I have less tolerance. I am more aggravated by people who talk about their children.

Life will not be normal. Brea will not bring Seth back. I miss him so dearly. All I can do is really be strong. I cant do anything else as these next few days come. They will drag but fly. Im tired. I dont want to cry today but I have been so emotional. I chalk it up to being very pregnant.

There will be flowers at church today for Seth’s birthday. Will people notice? does anyone care? Today is just as important to me as it was a year ago. Its all about my baby boy. I dont want people to forget. His birthday is much more important than mine.

Im going to listen to the heart monitor and get in the shower. (the baby has been really quiet this morning).

work and babies!

So… hurricane Isaac has basically passed us and did nothing but give us a drizzling  rain storm (thank goodness).

On another note… Since my hubby works for himself, sometimes I can go on jobs with him. Ive missed him so much because hes working about 20 hours a day (for the past 3 weeks). I feel so bad for him, he’s exhausted but the work keeps streaming in (good for money, bad for his health and me not seeing him lol). But we are thankful. So in order to see him a little more I went to work with him overnight last night and now I feel like a semi-truck ran over me lol. Im ok really but I have never walked around and bent over and moved my arms more than last night… ugh Im so sore. I think all the movement rocked baby to sleep last night but this morning after eating shes just having a hay day in there.

I have to go to work today- that should be fun, I can barely move lol.

I know 3 women who are pregnant and due in early September (what an odd coincidence)… So everyone was swearing that the storm would put them into labor. 1 of them- her water broke and shes at the hospital. 1 of them- had contractions yesterday that went away today. 1 of them- I haven’t heard from but will see today. So Im really excited for baby Rolle who will hopefully be here tonight and the best part- she is being born at the hospital that I work at and I work night shifts so maybe, just maybe Ill get to at least see a picture . Im a firm believer in letting the parents have their time with the baby without interruptions so I dont really want to go visit but I am SOOOO excited for them. I just cant stinking wait to have this baby. Cook baby cook! I am sooo excited for you! I cant wait till Christmas, Ill be 38 weeks and will try everything to convince the baby that she wants to meet me .