This is it

Wow I feel so guilty but its been a month since I went to sit at Seth’s grave. I dont feel a giant connection with him there but it’s a place for me to remember him. I have just been so busy with school.

It was nice, when I got to the cemetery someone had put a little beanie baby dog on Seth’s stone. It was so cute and thoughtful, I cried, I still don’t know who did it.

I was surprised that the windchime was still hanging from the tree.

It was the first time I have been to the grave since I have known I was pregnant. I told him about his baby sibling. I told him about how nervous I feel. About the pregnancy, about school, about the pregnancy… did I say the pregnancy?

I know he would have LOVED this baby!

 

School is school and Thursday is the last day!!!!! All I need to do is make a 60 on my quiz, final, and post test in order to pass this class. that is harder said than done because his tests are REDICULOUS so Im TERRIFIED, I want this to be over so I can relax, not be exhausted, and start focusing on good thoughts instead of disgusting physics. PRAY FOR ME, I NEED TO PASS!!!

alright wish me luck on feeling good tomorrow and soaking up 5 chapters so I can pass.

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3 responses to “This is it

  1. Let me start with: I wish I did, but it was not me.

    Frequenting the cemeteries and visiting those gone before is an odd, morbid habit of mine. I love putting little gifts on baby’s graves. Sometimes it’s a note, sometimes it’s a little bracelet, car, or stuffed animal. Sometimes it’s a polished stone. I frequently leave pennies heads up – a tribute to Skyler. Anything to say “I support you”.

    I have done this for nearly 2 years now in various cemeteries all over Texas, but I have NEVER seen anyone post that they found something at their baby’s grave. While I did not leave the dog for Seth, I have to smile because now I know how some of those other parents may have felt when they found a stuffed bunny for their daughter’s first angelversary and such.

    Skyler and Tabi were both cremated. While it means they live on my nightstand and I can hold and touch them anytime I want, they do not have graves. There is nothing for me to decorate other than a shelf in their room, and no one can leave them gifts like that.

    Thank you. 🙂

  2. Aw, its good to hear that, I have often thought about leaving stuff at some children’s graves that I know are near to my sons, I have never had the guts to enter their area and leave their parents a token, now I do. I hope to have time to do it soon, it means the world.

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