Ear update

Ok, I think I am just getting used to the pain. The throbbing, the feeling of my head exploding, it is becoming normal. I have been temporarily deaf though for a few days. I cannot hear anything unless you are YELLING in my ear. Its hard to work like that.

I work in the hospital, and in the ER every other day so I stopped a doctor in the ER and asked if he would look at my ears. He said well, both ears are badly infected and those are the worst ears I have ever seen, they look like s—….. Then he proceeded to say, Im a little worried that you have a malignant condition, let me look up some medication that you are aloud to have. He found some ear drops that were different from the ones Im taking and told me “please go see an ear doctor after this is cleared up or if its not starting to feel better in 5 days”…

That makes me worry. I have always had bad ear problems but I never thought it was tumorous or cancerous. Ive had so many weird problems with this pregnancy its making me very scared. Im trying to keep my thoughts positive. I have my hypnobirthing material at my moms house, I just have to go get it now, maybe that will soothe me.

So anyways, Im praying that this new medicine that the ER doctor suggested started kicking in, clears things up and all will be well at the ear doctor, because I will go after this infection clears a little.

Ive been thinking a lot about my rainbow baby. I am desperate to feel kicks and start experiencing the baby. I am 12 weeks and my throwing up has subsided. I dont know if that is because Ive been in so much pain I havnt even considered throwing up or if the morning sickness is actually gone. Last time it did not leave till about 25 weeks or so.

Im a little worried. I know Tylenol is safe for pregnancy but Im still worried. I took it around the clock for two days and now I am forcing myself only to take it at night when I go to bed.

Steven has been, of course tired of me.

Sometimes I feel so guilty. I feel like I dont care about anyone but myself. Maybe I wont be a good mom or wife. Did God take Seth away because of my attitude?

I just hope the baby is ok, I dont feel pregnant anymore. Ive lost so much weight this week that my bump is completely gone now and not being sick dosnt make me feel any better about the baby.

I have a specialist appointment on the third and then my ob appointment the next week on the 12th of July. As far as I know, they will both do ultrasounds. I cant wait till this next one cause Ive just been worried with how Im feeling. I did call my OB yesterday and they sounded very sympathetic for my pain but very unconcerned. She said to just drink soups and take the ear drops that the ER doctor told me to take.

Im hungry… gonna start getting ready for work, wish me luck, I feel stupid when I cant hear my patients or other nurses that are in the room.

Stay safe rainbow.

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One response to “Ear update

  1. Hope the new meds kick in soon!
    Do not feel guilty about thinking about yourself – you are the one devoting all your resources to that bub, you need to be ok first before you can be what you need to be for bub. Do not forget that – it is about you!
    I read a little piece of info – if your bub was to continue to grow at the same rate through out the pregnancy as it did in the first 12 weeks it would weigh over a tonne at birth! I always kept that in mind when I felt bad/tired/sick – this is how much of my resources bub is taking, so I should take it easy on myself.
    I too had a bump at first that then ‘went away’. I had morning sickness, bloated, constipated, bad digestion – so while that ‘bump’ was comforting to rub, in truth bub is about 5cm and not the cause of it 🙂 When I started feeling better the bump subsided and I felt that ‘where’s it gone’ feeling. I strained to feel movement, and I think that time was my most high anxiety.
    Take care of yourself, nourish yourself, try to be calm (I know haha right?) and those good things will flow on to bub, then soon you will feel all those lovely flutters 🙂

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