So… hurricane Isaac has basically passed us and did nothing but give us a drizzling rain storm (thank goodness).
On another note… Since my hubby works for himself, sometimes I can go on jobs with him. Ive missed him so much because hes working about 20 hours a day (for the past 3 weeks). I feel so bad for him, he’s exhausted but the work keeps streaming in (good for money, bad for his health and me not seeing him lol). But we are thankful. So in order to see him a little more I went to work with him overnight last night and now I feel like a semi-truck ran over me lol. Im ok really but I have never walked around and bent over and moved my arms more than last night… ugh Im so sore. I think all the movement rocked baby to sleep last night but this morning after eating shes just having a hay day in there.
I have to go to work today- that should be fun, I can barely move lol.
I know 3 women who are pregnant and due in early September (what an odd coincidence)… So everyone was swearing that the storm would put them into labor. 1 of them- her water broke and shes at the hospital. 1 of them- had contractions yesterday that went away today. 1 of them- I haven’t heard from but will see today. So Im really excited for baby Rolle who will hopefully be here tonight and the best part- she is being born at the hospital that I work at and I work night shifts so maybe, just maybe Ill get to at least see a picture :). Im a firm believer in letting the parents have their time with the baby without interruptions so I dont really want to go visit but I am SOOOO excited for them. I just cant stinking wait to have this baby. Cook baby cook! I am sooo excited for you! I cant wait till Christmas, Ill be 38 weeks and will try everything to convince the baby that she wants to meet me :).
Posted in Family, Friends, Health, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby
Tagged babies, baby, Children, hurricane, Pregnancy, Rain, rainbow baby, September, tropical storm, Work
Im finally 20 weeks, half way to the end of this pregnancy!!!!
Its funny how this baby plays with my mind. Sometimes I worry because I dont feel her as strong as I felt Seth and I dont feel movement during the day. Well last night- she kicked from 8pm to 3am. It was so hard to sleep because she just kept turning and moving and kicking. It was a great feeling. Another reason its hard to sleep at night is because Im starting to get bigger and my hips really hurt at night (the body pillow is no help at all). No matter how many times I turn back and forth, I always wake up on my back, Im assuming my mind knows how much pain being on my side is (all that pressure on my hips is a killer). I know Im not supposed to sleep on my back but I do turn as soon as I wake up and notice.
Im so glad Im halfway I never thought I would make it this far and I CANT WAIT till I start seeing the doctor every week in my 3rd trimester, I think between those visits and the holidays and work the time will fly. I cant want to feel at ease when they start keeping closer track of the baby. I get so nervous because right now they only see me once a month and I hate that things are changing and I have no update.
Im very thankful for getting this far, very thankful to have a beautiful girl growing, and VERY thankful that we will have a happy family together in 4 months! Steven and I are so excited, we talk about the baby every day.
I love this!
Stay safe rainbow.
We never talked on a regular basis and I never expressed my gratitude towards this woman like I should have. All I could do is sit back and admire her from afar. She was too beautiful and too strong to approach sometimes. She was giving and very heartfelt. If I could choose to be someone in life, it would be her.
This amazing woman of God would take charge and do whatever she had to do to get things in order and done. She played a HUGE role in my wedding and baby shower. I cried like a baby when I heard last year that she had gone to be with Jesus (and still cry as I sit here writing this). Little did I know that weeks later my baby boy would be sitting right there with her. Her grief stricken husband preaching at Seth’s funeral… I found out at my shower (the week before Seth passed away) that Mrs. Glenda told Mrs. Ott to put on my cake “happy labor day”…. She was so adorable, so thoughtful, at a time when she was so sick, she was not even thinking about herself.
What can I say… No other woman has shown me how to be SO fearless. The wrapping up of the year since she left is a terrible terrible reminder of the following greif on Seths birthday. But who taught me how to be fearless on that day? Without her knowing, she did. Without many people knowing, Steven and I talked very often in the weeks following our son’s death about Mrs.Glenda and her love, and her and Seth meeting.
I miss her and her example. I just wish sometimes I would have paid attention a little more and said thank you a little more.
Thank you for your fearlessness. See you soon.
Posted in anxiety, death, Family, Friends, Health, Infant loss, Seth, my baby, stillbirth, stillborn
Tagged anxiety, anxious, Death, family, fearless, fearlessness, friends, God, health, Home, Infant Loss, jesus, peace, Stillbirth, stillborn
Today is my day off and Im happy about that of course. I am still beyond exhausted, eyes burning, and body limp but its ok.
I am spending today crocheting ( I have a couple of paid projets that I NEED to get done). I also need to make dinner (something I havnt done in like 6 months… sad).
Before I started I want to write about the pregnany of course. (I feel the need to write all of this down so I remember next time and dont feel crazy for feeling something.)
I have this excruciating pain on my right side that stretches around from my back to the top of my stomach. Sitting hurts, laying down hurts…. I guess its just a part of pregnancy and I’m not all that concerned about it but it reminds me exactly of what back labor felt like when I started to back labor with Seth (except this is not running down my leg). I have been having a lot of cramping in the last 3 days, and a lot of back pain. It does slightly scare me because my doctor said it could be a possibility that I go into early labor since it was only a year ago that I went into labor early with Seth and my uterus will do what it was used to experiencing. So now when I get cramps and back pain, my mind slightly panics because it brings back the exact feelings of labor last time.
Being pregnant for some women is easy (not easy with symptoms). Easy as in they have nothing to worry about their whole pregnancy so when they have things happen to them they just can assume that its normal pregnancy. I on the other hand think of all the things that could be going wrong, trying to keep in mind all of the signs that doctors have thrown at me.
I want to enjoy my pregnancy without having to keep track of ‘signs’. Keeping track of every little feeling makes for a much more stressful time. Dont take it for granted- the ease of getting pregnant, the ease of carrying a baby. The ease of having a healthy baby whenever you can.
Have a good day, going to get my crochet on.
Stay safe rainbow ❤
P.s.- this is a picture of a 20week baby in the womb (I’ll be 20 weeks in 2 days)…. I cant believe my little girl is so big !?
Posted in crochet, Family, Health, Hobbies, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby
Tagged babies, baby, Back pain, child, Childbirth, Children, Cramp, crochet, family, health, hobbies, Home, Pregnancy, rainbow baby, Reproductive Health
before I go to work I thought I would update the blog to remind myself of when this started to happen. Ive been waiting for this dreaded syptom but I swore it didnt come till like past 25 weeks last time. Ill be 20 weeks in a few days.
The dreaded—- heartburn/indigestion/acid reflux.
Im going to die! Last night in the middle of the night I woke up with it and had to sit up in bed for a couple of hours before I could lay back down again. (and dont even tell me take tums, Ill throw up at the thought of that nasty chalky stuff). It has continued on ALL day so far…. NOOOOOO please go away :(.
Alright, gotta get going for work, another day closer to baby. 🙂
The past few days the babys kicks are getting a lot harder and becoming more frequent. Its WONDERFUL! I love the feeling (Im 19 weeks 2 days today) .
The only thing is I have been getting awful braxton hicks. They make my tummy harden and it hurts for a good few minutes about 5-10 times a day. I did not really get an braxtons last time.
I am just so happy that Im starting to feel my sweet baby now, its the best feeling ever,
I feel really guilty about today but I just have been feeling weird. I spent a lot of money. I really want to save money right now but 1. I am baby nesting, 2. I want to craft. The problem: we have no space.
I bought quilting supplies because someone is teaching me to quilt and Im make a quilt for the baby… that was expensive. I bought 6 baby hats, 2 soft/bumpy changing table covers, 4 hand mittens, and 5 childrens CD’s, all for $20 (that wasnt a bad buy). And I had to buy 2 work scrub shirts because of course the hospital is going into a stupid color change where every department wheres a specific color- it SUCKS (2 scrub tops were $43- THATS REDICULOUS- I dont even spend that much on regular clothes!)
I reallly really really really (did I say really) – wish that we had AT LEAST a 2 bedroom place. Right now we have the crib set up where our dining room table used to be (which we had to get rid of to move the crib in) , and we have the changing table in the living room. We have to get rid of the coffee table so we have enough room but Im so upset that I have NO tables- where am I supposed to sew???? :'(. I just wish I had a place to do me things and have a space for the baby. I feel depressed like Im in a rut. We can never get a place as long as Im making as little as Im making and as long as Steven is not making a definite paycheck every week. Working contracts is a NIGHTMARE because we dont know how our future is going to unfold.
Maybe thats why I went shopping honestly, because I just feel stuck sometimes and guilty. I want to have a wonderful home for our child and enough space to feel comfortable and call our own but unfortunately, Steven doesn’t have a normal job. I really want to support him but come January when the baby comes- were gonna have to make some decisions about how we are living.
Cant wait to see this baby and just forget about everything else. I cant wait to finish this quilt. I really do enjoy quilting, I just need somewhere to do it not besides my friends’ houses . I cant wait to see what it looks like finished :D.
anyways, now that Ive done nothing today I should get going ❤
Posted in anxiety, Family, Friends, Health, Hobbies, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby
Tagged anxiety, babies, baby, child, Children, Craft, crafting, Crafts, family, health, hobbies, Pregnancy, quilt, quilting, rainbow baby, Shopping, Work
Well, last week flew by. Here I sit at 19 weeks in a few days and I cant believe it. I am so blessed.
I am still very exhausted, that is unfortunately one symptom that has not left this whole pregnancy but Ill take that over daily morning sickness and headaches :).
Maybe why I am so tired is because I have been practicing my hypnobirthing as much as I can and I cant really do it while my husband is home so I do it while Im in the shower and driving (although very dangerous while driving lol). I have noticed now that it is so easy to just relax- all I have to do is breathe deep and BAM I am almost instantly in a state of sleep. Its amazing. I used it Sunday morning when I had to sing. I did not experience my heart POUNDING and my voice quivering like normal. I was of course very nervous but it was one of the few times that I felt like it was a very controlled nervous. The more I practice the better I get and I love it. I think its amazing that God gave me the power and choice to be able to slow down and rest :). This is the song I sang Sunday- with not near as much umph as Mandisa sings it lol.
I have not been worrying about the baby as much. In fact I am filling my time with positive things. I have been going through Seth’s things little by little (so we can pick out what things look more neutral that we can still keep for this baby) and Steven has helped also. It is hard and most times we only get in about 10 minutes a week but it seems like a long 10 minutes and by the time those few minutes are over I feel like I am choking and that is when I know I need to take a break. There is SO MUCH STUFF and SO MUCH has to be bagged and boxed, its sad. Now that we have actually separated the boy stuff out I feel a little overwhelmed. I need lots of hats (I have none), socks (have none), sheets and crib bedding (Steven is having a hard time keeping the jungle stuff in the room, he says it reminds him of Seth, I understand. The first thing he did when we looked at the room to separate things was rip off all of the bed stuff and put all of the jungle theme stuff away. He said he wants pink girly things that have nothing to do with animals so he is not reminded of Seth. I see how hard it is on him and it makes me hurt inside. He walked out of the baby room the other day and said “I have to go get a dip before I start crying”…. speaking of, he’s still trying to quit.)
So anyways. Time is flying and I cant wait for winter to get here. (Its sooo hot anyways that winter will be so welcome). Cant wait for the next doctors appt , time always goes really fast when something is scheduled. 🙂
Posted in anxiety, Family, Health, Infant loss, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, Seth, my baby, Steven, my love, stillbirth, stillborn
Tagged anxiety, family, God, health, Infant Loss, Mandisa, Morning sickness, Pregnancy, rainbow baby, Shopping, Stillbirth, stillborn, Sunday