Well, last week flew by. Here I sit at 19 weeks in a few days and I cant believe it. I am so blessed.
I am still very exhausted, that is unfortunately one symptom that has not left this whole pregnancy but Ill take that over daily morning sickness and headaches :).
Maybe why I am so tired is because I have been practicing my hypnobirthing as much as I can and I cant really do it while my husband is home so I do it while Im in the shower and driving (although very dangerous while driving lol). I have noticed now that it is so easy to just relax- all I have to do is breathe deep and BAM I am almost instantly in a state of sleep. Its amazing. I used it Sunday morning when I had to sing. I did not experience my heart POUNDING and my voice quivering like normal. I was of course very nervous but it was one of the few times that I felt like it was a very controlled nervous. The more I practice the better I get and I love it. I think its amazing that God gave me the power and choice to be able to slow down and rest :). This is the song I sang Sunday- with not near as much umph as Mandisa sings it lol.
I have not been worrying about the baby as much. In fact I am filling my time with positive things. I have been going through Seth’s things little by little (so we can pick out what things look more neutral that we can still keep for this baby) and Steven has helped also. It is hard and most times we only get in about 10 minutes a week but it seems like a long 10 minutes and by the time those few minutes are over I feel like I am choking and that is when I know I need to take a break. There is SO MUCH STUFF and SO MUCH has to be bagged and boxed, its sad. Now that we have actually separated the boy stuff out I feel a little overwhelmed. I need lots of hats (I have none), socks (have none), sheets and crib bedding (Steven is having a hard time keeping the jungle stuff in the room, he says it reminds him of Seth, I understand. The first thing he did when we looked at the room to separate things was rip off all of the bed stuff and put all of the jungle theme stuff away. He said he wants pink girly things that have nothing to do with animals so he is not reminded of Seth. I see how hard it is on him and it makes me hurt inside. He walked out of the baby room the other day and said “I have to go get a dip before I start crying”…. speaking of, he’s still trying to quit.)
So anyways. Time is flying and I cant wait for winter to get here. (Its sooo hot anyways that winter will be so welcome). Cant wait for the next doctors appt , time always goes really fast when something is scheduled. 🙂