I haven’t been keeping up very well with the blog but you know how the holidays are. This is the best time of the year. I LOVE Christmas. On Christmas eve we spent some time with my family and on Christmas I went to my husband’s family’s house. I have been sick and am SLOWLY getting better so I unfortunately didnt get to run out to our hometown to see my dad’s family this year. We didnt really do gifts but I have to say- this was the BEST Christmas we’ve had. I realized how much my family means to me and how special Christmas really is. I am lucky that I have real blood family that gets along and loves me and I love them. I am so thankful for our home, our car, our abundance of food, our children.
There is nothing better than everyone smiling at Christmas and waiting for your baby to come. This has just been so amazing this year. I could not be happier (except when Brea finally gets here lol). I CANT WAIT! speaking of baby talk, I have not been able to sleep due to insomnia, being sick, and HEARTBURN so I have been sitting on the couch up all night every night for like 2 weeks and I was having extreme exhaustion yesterday so it was sooooo nice to not have heartburn for once last night so I could sleep in the bed (all night!!!). The only thing though I had to do to prevent that from happening was to not eat or drink after 3 pm= that sucks cause ussually I am SOOOO thirsty and want a snack before bed but I had to sleep!
Our little girl has become the center of our thoughts all of the time. Yesterday after we came home from Christmas dinner Steven and I just plopped on the bed in exhaustion and sat and talked. We kept verbalizing how crazy it is that this is our last Christmas as a family of just us 2. We will now have a baby for (at least) 18 years to follow us around. It was so quiet and peaceful and I sat there and cried a little as I told Steven that I will totally miss our time together and I hope that doesn’t change. He is too good to me to let me even think that our relationship would get pooed on. This child has restored our relationship from a year ago and she does not realize the importance she brings to our life. She is our life already. We have made changes to all kinds of things and shes not even here yet.
Of course with the holidays I still think of Seth. He would have been 15 months exactly on Christmas. Wow… My son would have been 15 months! That cute, long, lanky, chubby cheeked baby. I cannot imagine what he would have looked like. Kind of like my dad, I will always remember him at the age that he left us, same with Seth. One day I hope Brea is not saddened but understands just how important he is to our family. I pray that God blesses us financially to support many children. I want to bring happiness, education, and love to as many little ones as we are blessed with. This world needs more of that.
We cannot wait for Brea. I hope others understand that when she is born and I am hospitalized I would like time to quietly labor with only my husband, parents, and sister visiting. I do not want phone calls, visitors, or anything until I am ready. This will be an emotional time for us. A scary one, right up till she is crying in my arms I will not be calmed. If I want you there, I will call you. My nerves are crawling with excitement, hopefully very very soon!