Its been a while. School is a roller coaster lol. We are finally getting into OB, what I want to do. As I come full circle and realize that this is where I want to be, I am terrified. I am scared to see some of the things that we are learning about. It is not just about women who are having healthy babies or stillborn babies, its also about women who are having very unhealthy babies, or women who are at risk to lose their lives. It is real. It is scary.
I wish I would have had all of my children before this class because it is the scariest thing to know every single thing that could possibly go wrong because of one small mishap. I have seriously considered not having any more children which makes me sad because I love Brea and Seth with all of my heart and I want so bad to see another baby of mine here in this world. I never wanted just one child. I do desire to adopt one day but i dont know what Ill do. I guess I have plenty of time to decide, it is just amazing how a woman can get through a pregnancy and be fine with all that could happen.
Every day I ask myself if I am doing the right thing. I am putting my family and I through the ringer and its quite the emotional roller coaster. I just continue to hold on to the hope that this is the field God led me and He will place me where he needs. Im very excited about what Im learning and this is what I want to do. I’ve never been so passionate. I cant wait till school is over.
Brea is funny now.10 months. She can pull herself up to stand against things. She eats a lot, LOVES fruit and cheerios! she talks alot. She can carry on a whole conversation in baby talk lol. She is developing an attitude. I can certainly tell when she is hungry, happy, tired, mad. She smiles 98% of the day and loves everyone! I dont see how anyone could not smile when they look at her.
I have a new camera and have been dying to get good at taking pictures (mainly for the sake of having cute pictures of Brea lol. Today Im going out with a friend to practice. It is soooo nice to have a day off of school. Taking pictures= the most relaing thing I have ever done. I still miss art and I wish so bad that I had time and skill to pick it back up. I miss the release it gave me.
Talk at you later. Miss my time for blogging like I used to