Today is my day off and Im happy about that of course. I am still beyond exhausted, eyes burning, and body limp but its ok.
I am spending today crocheting ( I have a couple of paid projets that I NEED to get done). I also need to make dinner (something I havnt done in like 6 months… sad).
Before I started I want to write about the pregnany of course. (I feel the need to write all of this down so I remember next time and dont feel crazy for feeling something.)
I have this excruciating pain on my right side that stretches around from my back to the top of my stomach. Sitting hurts, laying down hurts…. I guess its just a part of pregnancy and I’m not all that concerned about it but it reminds me exactly of what back labor felt like when I started to back labor with Seth (except this is not running down my leg). I have been having a lot of cramping in the last 3 days, and a lot of back pain. It does slightly scare me because my doctor said it could be a possibility that I go into early labor since it was only a year ago that I went into labor early with Seth and my uterus will do what it was used to experiencing. So now when I get cramps and back pain, my mind slightly panics because it brings back the exact feelings of labor last time.
Being pregnant for some women is easy (not easy with symptoms). Easy as in they have nothing to worry about their whole pregnancy so when they have things happen to them they just can assume that its normal pregnancy. I on the other hand think of all the things that could be going wrong, trying to keep in mind all of the signs that doctors have thrown at me.
I want to enjoy my pregnancy without having to keep track of ‘signs’. Keeping track of every little feeling makes for a much more stressful time. Dont take it for granted- the ease of getting pregnant, the ease of carrying a baby. The ease of having a healthy baby whenever you can.
Have a good day, going to get my crochet on.
Stay safe rainbow ❤
P.s.- this is a picture of a 20week baby in the womb (I’ll be 20 weeks in 2 days)…. I cant believe my little girl is so big !?
Posted in crochet, Family, Health, Hobbies, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby
Tagged babies, baby, Back pain, child, Childbirth, Children, Cramp, crochet, family, health, hobbies, Home, Pregnancy, rainbow baby, Reproductive Health
Today was wonderful, I did nothing :). Today was my day off and Steven is out of town working so I did things on my own time. I washed dishes and did laundry and crocheted and it was wonderful. I made a swiffer cover and another baby owl hat and booties for a girl at work who is due in 6 weeks.
I had milk and cookies after dinner tonight and the baby loved it! That crazy doctor trying to say the food I eat is not good for the baby— the baby loves it old man (lol… I have been eating better so I gave in finally tonight).
Someone dropped off maternity clothes today to me and Im SOOOO excited, its a ton of great clothes that I could totally use! Last time I somehow survived my whole pregnancy with only 2 pairs of shorts and 2 shirts- now I have pants, shorts, skirts, and all kinds of shirts. Excited!
I found out that someone is going to buy my guitar (that I have not played in a year), which means I can do the biggest package for the 4D ultrasound. which includes
A CD with ALL of the pictures from the ultrasound, printed pictures of the ultrasound, a DVD of the entire ultrasound and the heartbeat, a website for the baby and his/her pictures, a copyright release to print more pictures at any photo lab, during the 30 minute ultrasound the family is in the next room (allowed up to 40 people) and they are provided with popcorn/candy/and soda and the sonographer explains the ultrasound to them through a microphone. OH MY WORD that is a lot and Im so excited because I really want my whole family to get the chance to see the baby. Everyone is so anxious of course and I think this will make everyone smile and feel good :)- I cant wait and Im praying the sale really goes through so I get the opportunity.
So anyways thats about all my wonderful day consisted of… Im a little sad that I have to go to work tomorrow.
stay safe rainbow.
Posted in crochet, Family, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, Work
Tagged 3D ultrasound, babies, baby, child, Children, crochet, family, Home, Infant, Maternity clothing, Pregnancy, rainbow baby
I just cant wait. I am always so anxious about how the baby is doing. Its hard in these early months, you just have no clue what is going on besides your stomach growing like an elephant. Looking back at my old pictures of my pregnancy with Seth, I am now the size that I was when I was 22 weeks with him … but right now Im only 15… Its almost embarrassing but- I havnt gained more than 2 pounds, my stomach is just pushing outwards, the gas has finally gone away lol, now I just deal with peeing on myself….. very sad… but I totally feel the baby bouncing right on top of my now flattened bladder and even when I dont have to use the potty- I do. I am just beyond excited to have a baby here and I am so impatient.
I am finally trying to get all my crochet stuff going. My goal is to raise enough money for my 3D ultrasound for the family to see and then if I make more than that I want to give it to my husband to build a buggy that he really wants. He has done a lot for me and has given up a lot of his man projects since we have gotten married so that he can provide and give me what I want so I really hope to make enough to be worth it for him. Im just excited that I get to crochet :).
Tonight I have the ER- wish me luck, I hope its an easy night with good Doctors because I have a sinus infection and I feel like my head is going to explode, its hard to just breathe.
Posted in crochet, Family, Health, Hobbies, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, Seth, my baby, Steven, my love, Work
Tagged 3D ultrasound, babies, baby, crochet, doctor, ER, family, Pregnancy, pregnant, rainbow baby
I think I did well on my physics midterm!Ill find out this morning, if I ever get there. i have 20 minutes till I have to leave and I cant get up, UGH. I am trying so hard to eat but Im just pushing my food around like a child. Im starving but the smell and taste of anything, I gag at just seeing it. I have been just looking at my food crying for ten minutes. sooo hungry.
Im glad I have today off, although I have to clean, grocery shop, and study…. at least I can do it on my own time after school today cause I just feel like throwing up all over.
Stay Safe Rainbow.
P.S.- I took in all of the boxes, blankets and hats that we made for the hospital stillbirths and the nurses loved them they were so greatful. They said that everyone forgets about their mom and baby unit (at the hospital I work at) because most people send their donations to the childrens hospital in town. It felt so good to do something good and the nurses were beyond excited, their faces lit up and she kept saying, you dont know what it means to these women to have these. To avoid my crying hormones, I smiled and said, … I know. and turned around and walked away as they scrummaged through their goodies. Thank God for such a compassionate heart.
Posted in Cause for Action, crochet, death, Family, Friends, Health, Hobbies, Infant loss, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, School, stillbirth, stillborn
Tagged babies, baby, charity, child, Children, crochet, crochet for a cause, Death, donations, Education, family, giving, health, Home, Infant Loss, Morning sickness, Mother, Parenting, physics, Pregnancy, rainbow baby, school, Senses, Smell and Taste, stillbirths, stillborn
… Those days when your heart feels like mush…. today. I have a good friend who had a baby today. and a cousin who had a baby a couple of days ago.. of course its everywhere. Im happy for them, but Im not happy for me. Its especially hard when the friend who had a baby (who is at the same hospital that you work at) isnt that close with you anymore but of course wants to share pictures and whatever- that can just bring on more anger. I just feel slightly defeated. I have to get over it. Im not angry/mad/throwing a fit… just, … sad.
Ive been crocheting my brains out to make myself feel better, heres what I got… all baby/ photo prop items. (my next project is a purse).
yeah so… thats about it.
I start physics in exactly one week and Im a nervous wreck
my thoughts are…..
*How am I going to handle 9-1 school/2-10 work, and fit homework in? How am I going to get through a whole physics text book in 1 month and actually understand it? How am I going to have time for myself or my husband or cleaning or cooking…? How am I going to sleep?
I know I just have to do it, just really scary, its the hardest class and the dean has already spoken to us and told us, 1/4 of each physics class fails every month. AGHHH :(. I dont want to fail cause this class cost me about $2000. :O
Until them, Im going to keep crocheting. and trying to mentally prepare myself.
Posted in anxiety, crochet, Family, Friends, Health, Hobbies, School, Work
Tagged anxiety, babies, baby, bag, Children, crochet, crocheting, Education, friend, friends, health, hobbies, homework, hospital, pattern, patterns, photo props, photography, photography props, physics, purse, school, Work
I have been addicted to crocheting lately. Its crazy, its all I think about and I cant sleep- that is pretty sad lol. I am super addicted to bulky/ chunky yarn too! its amazing, you can knock out a project (that would take you a month in regular yarn) in about 30 minutes! its amazing!!! Its just a little more expensive though. So Im probably going to make chunky yarn blankets for the hospital stillbirth boxes because Ive been taking too long and I need to get those out soon.
Heres my latest projects I did today and last night.
^ this turtle is a photo prop, its supposed to be used for this
> and yes that is where I bought the pattern from, I just made it a little different cause I didn’t want it to look exactly the same.
On another note…
I went to school yesterday for my last prep class before physics starts, the students were really encouraging and I cant wait to start the sonography program. It is going to be a lot of work but this is what I want. A girl told a story about her last clinical. She got called to the OB floor (at the hospital that I work at) and a lady who was 39 weeks pregnant lost her baby and she had to do the scan to confirm it. She said it was the hardest thing she has seen. I almost teared up as she talked about it. That is why I want to do this. I want to comfort those women, empower them with love and hope and a future. I need to be apart of this, that is why I changed my major, this IS my calling. I need to do this.
I need extra strength though and I pray every day that God will help me get through these classes and clinicals with a clear and open mind, mental strength, and guidance for a kind heart.
Im going to love my job 🙂
Posted in crochet, death, Family, Friends, Health, Hobbies, Infant loss, Jesus, my love, School, Seth, my baby, stillbirth, stillborn, Work
Tagged babies, baby, blanket, blankets, Blankets and Bedding, calling, Children, clinical, clinicals, crochet, crocheting, Etsy, fun, God, happy, hat, hats, hobbies, hobby, hospital, Infant, infant death, Infant Loss, job, need, photo props, photography, photos, school, Shopping, sonography, stilbirth, stillborn, time, turtle, ultrasound, Work, Yarn
Since Ive gotten rid of facebook I just havnt gotten on the computer much anymore, I guess that is a good thing.
This weekend we went to the Awanas Grand Prix , all the kids at church got to race their little cars they made. Steven , I, and my father in law judged the looks of the cars and My father in law and I cooked the burgers and hot dogs on the grill. It was cute.
Today (Sunday) we went to Islands of Adventure. It was fun.
Tonight we watched Undercover Boss (budget blinds). I cried like a baby because the boss got to know this guy who was adorable. He was just a big teddy bear. The man working for the company lost his son (who had 5 grand kids). He cried like a big baby when the boss gave him $40,000 to remodel his house to better accommodate his family for gatherings in remembrance of his son. I cried like a baby too. It was very touching.
Ive made some cool new crocheted things this week… I think I want to focus on baby props for my etsy store that I hope to open in the future.
Here are the things I made.
^ I made this for a cousins daughter that is due to arrive this month.
^ I made this and am giving it to my sister for her youth camp auction so she can make some money to go, its her last year. Im in the process of making matching booties to go with it :).
so yeah, thats about it.
Its been a good week. Work has been a little stressful but other than that, its been good. School starts on the 30th (physics) ugh lol.
Posted in crochet, Family, Health, Hobbies, School, Steven, my love, Vacation, Work
Tagged awanas, Children, crochet, crocheting, hobbies, hobby, islands of adventure, Parent-in-law, recreation, school, theme parks, tv, Undercover Boss, vacation, Work