Ok, I think I am just getting used to the pain. The throbbing, the feeling of my head exploding, it is becoming normal. I have been temporarily deaf though for a few days. I cannot hear anything unless you are YELLING in my ear. Its hard to work like that.
I work in the hospital, and in the ER every other day so I stopped a doctor in the ER and asked if he would look at my ears. He said well, both ears are badly infected and those are the worst ears I have ever seen, they look like s—….. Then he proceeded to say, Im a little worried that you have a malignant condition, let me look up some medication that you are aloud to have. He found some ear drops that were different from the ones Im taking and told me “please go see an ear doctor after this is cleared up or if its not starting to feel better in 5 days”…
That makes me worry. I have always had bad ear problems but I never thought it was tumorous or cancerous. Ive had so many weird problems with this pregnancy its making me very scared. Im trying to keep my thoughts positive. I have my hypnobirthing material at my moms house, I just have to go get it now, maybe that will soothe me.
So anyways, Im praying that this new medicine that the ER doctor suggested started kicking in, clears things up and all will be well at the ear doctor, because I will go after this infection clears a little.
Ive been thinking a lot about my rainbow baby. I am desperate to feel kicks and start experiencing the baby. I am 12 weeks and my throwing up has subsided. I dont know if that is because Ive been in so much pain I havnt even considered throwing up or if the morning sickness is actually gone. Last time it did not leave till about 25 weeks or so.
Im a little worried. I know Tylenol is safe for pregnancy but Im still worried. I took it around the clock for two days and now I am forcing myself only to take it at night when I go to bed.
Steven has been, of course tired of me.
Sometimes I feel so guilty. I feel like I dont care about anyone but myself. Maybe I wont be a good mom or wife. Did God take Seth away because of my attitude?
I just hope the baby is ok, I dont feel pregnant anymore. Ive lost so much weight this week that my bump is completely gone now and not being sick dosnt make me feel any better about the baby.
I have a specialist appointment on the third and then my ob appointment the next week on the 12th of July. As far as I know, they will both do ultrasounds. I cant wait till this next one cause Ive just been worried with how Im feeling. I did call my OB yesterday and they sounded very sympathetic for my pain but very unconcerned. She said to just drink soups and take the ear drops that the ER doctor told me to take.
Im hungry… gonna start getting ready for work, wish me luck, I feel stupid when I cant hear my patients or other nurses that are in the room.
Stay safe rainbow.
Posted in Family, Health, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, Steven, my love, Work
Tagged doctor, doctors, Ear, ear ache, Ear Infection, Emergency Room, ER, family, health, hospital, husband, Morning sickness, pain, Pregnancy, rainbow baby, Tylenol, Work
So I need to just update quick because I still have a lot of studying to do and I have to leave for work in an hour….
I have a B average in physics, I hope it stays that way. I cried yesterday because I didnt get chapter three and then we went on to chapter 4. I am actually getting the hang of chapter 4 very well so all I need to do is STUDY STUDY STUDY ALL night long and maybe I can do well on my test tomorrow. I am praying, I DONT want to take this dumb class again with this STUPID teacher…
In baby news!!!! —->
I went to talk to my new OB yesterday. He is WONDERFUL!!! He listens, I dont feel rushed, He is kind and compassionate. He told me “losing a baby is a terrible experience and we will do everything we can to make this the best pregnancy possible”.- Now THAT is what I wanted to hear! lol. He said he sees no reason to put me on asprin or blood pressure meds because Im stable right now and he said I will have a TON more visits than a normal pregnancy and they will do a lot of testing on me including extra ultrasounds, blood tests, and a non-stress test in the third trimester. Hes very nice and reassuring that he will take care of me and he comes across as being interested in my pregnancy, not just my doctor getting me out of the office so he can go eat lunch.
Hes SOOO short lol, Hes like 4 foot tall and Im 5’8 so its funny standing next to him.
The office offers 4d ultrasounds with pictures and dvd’s and teddy bears with the baby’s heart beat in them… Its neat, they have a lot of options. These are things that I never did with Seth and It kind of stinks because I could have had a little piece to hold on to… It is VERY expensive though.
Im having my first ultrasound on May 22nd. Im praying with ALL of my might that there will be a good heartbeat. If I kept track of everything right, I SHOULD be 6 weeks and 4 days. SO- pray pray pray.
This is nerve wracking! I cant wait till this class is over cause Im gonna crochet my brains out to relax! wish me luck on staying up all night and studying, I NEED to pass this quiz.
Stay safe little rainbow.
Posted in anxiety, Family, Health, MTHFR, Pregnancy, Rainbow baby, School, Work
Tagged babies, baby, child, Children, Clinics and Services, doctor, doctors, health, OB, OBGYN, physics, Pregnancy, prenatal, rainbow baby, Reproductive Health, school, test, testing, tests, ultrasound, United States, Work
Tonight Im making this short and sweet because I am going to lay down and sleep so I can forget all of this mess that I am feeling. I want to cry. I have extreme itching all over my body (with no rash) and aches all over. I have no physical rash but I just itch all over and NOTHING helps it. I just want to rip my skin off. Its making me paranoid and I cant stand it. I want to know why I have been itching for all of these weeks and same with these pains Im getting all over. I get insurance in February, ugh it seems soooo far away, I just want to go to the doctor now. I hate insurance and doctors and giant medical bills, I just want to know.
Please dear Lord, take away this itching and these pains I have. My skin is starting to become raw and Im just plain tired. I just want to cry, please take it away.
…. I crocheted a little kids scarf, finally did it. I helpe krista put up the christmas tree today too. Ill post pictures later I am itching so bad that I cant even type.
Posted in crochet, Health, Hobbies, Jesus, my love
Tagged crochet, doctors, God, health, itching, jesus, Lord, pains, paranoid, sick