Steven and I went kayaking Sunday. It was beautiful. We spent 4 hours on the water (and thank God, we didnt seen any alligators, cause we were in salt water). Well… Steven’s boat started sinking (his drain plug fell out) so we got out and a shallow spot, it happened to be an oyster bed and my flip flop came off with the current and I stepped on the oysters- its like shards of glass going into your foot. It was the worst pain Ive ever had of stepping on something. I called off work because it is IMPOSSIBLE to walk, it sucks and its awful!
In other news, My momma got engaged today! After 15 long years since my daddy passed away I am thankful that my mom will not be alone anymore. Im happy for her and Adam!
Things have just been stressful lately between school, work, money, and my own sanity. Everything reminds me of Seth lately. The men going to work early in the morning. It reminds me of summer when Steven would leave for a week at a time and he’d kiss my tummy goodbye and be so excited when he came home to see how much I grew that week. The weather. Its getting warm here in Florida. Another reminder of last March when I found out I was pregnant and had serious hot flashes and sleep attacks. Life moving on is just a bad reminder. This month, March 25th, Seth would have been 6 months old. Oh my goodness, six months, wow! Imagine how big he would have been, how interactive he would have been. I miss him so much. Im so sad. I want another baby so bad. I just feel like I have nothing right now. Im thankful for all my goals with school and adulthood, it’s probably the only thing keeping me going that I wake up for. I miss my son. It hurts to see all of my friends babies growing up. My son could have been that big right now. Instead, Im sitting here crocheting, eating tuna out of a can cause im too lazy to cook or clean or stand, while my husband plays xbox all day.
Im scared to go into Seths baby room. We havnt touched it since a week before he died when we had the baby shower and set the whole room up. Im just scared Ill have a panic attack. I want to play with all of the little clothes and I want so bad to just put them on a baby and hold him or her. I just want to so bad.
Tomorrow we are painting memory boxes for the hospital at the crochet group. It hurts that these are going to more people, experiencing the same thing.
Posted in anxiety, crochet, death, Family, Friends, Health, Hobbies, Infant loss, Kayaking, Paddling, School, Seth, my baby, Steven, my love, stillbirth, stillborn, Work
Tagged anxiety, babies, baby, Baby shower, Children, crochet, engaged, family, florida, God, Infant Loss, kayak, kayaking, lazy, memory box, mom, money, Oyster, oysters, paddling, pain, Pregnancy, pregnant, school, son, stilbirth, stillborn, Work
Posted in Health, Hobbies, Kayaking, Paddling, Vacation
Tagged boating, florida, health, hobbies, kayaking, paddling, springs
Today was my favorite, most exciting, most scariest day of vacation! It was the best I suppose. Steven and I went to a park and set off for our maiden voyage in our new kayaks! It was beautiful, The water was vast, the nature was gorgeous! It was relaxing but soo much fun. I caught a 9 in. bass and 5 in. blue gill! THEN….; *BUM BUM BUM* [dark music]…. We looked around and saw that we were in an alligator nest. Seriously, I picked up my pole and Steven saw an 6ft. alligator swimming across the way. I of course, freaked out and tried to calmly paddle close to him so I wouldnt roll over. I got somewhat close and we spotted another alligator, this time an 8 footer on the bank to where the swimming alligator was headed. Steven hollered for me to get close so I started paddling faster towards him and as I was paddling I saw another one swimming in front of his kayak! I yelled for Steven to look and at that time we both saw the big 8 foot alligator slip into the water and head toward us. PANIC PANIC PANIC. My heart was racing and I was screaming on the inside. Steven Yelled “get over here in the weeds, get to the bank, the bank”. AHHHH… I paddled so hard you would think the alligator was thrashing around me. I was barely to the bank and I JUMPED out of my kayak and ran up the bank. Im sure Steven did the same but did so a little more gracefully. Lets just say I ended our kayking day with that. I was not getting back in that water! So we got like 3 hours of kayaking in and it was soooo nice BESIDES the alligators. We went fishing off another side of the lake from the bank. Steven caught a big gar but that was it.
I am sooo sunburnt but being outside and on the water was beautiful today.
I wish I had a camera, I just took this with my phone so you cant see them but here are where the alligators are in the picture.
We went to Red Lobster and ate WAYYYY to much. buscuites, 2 appetizers (stuffed mushrooms and lobster pizza), salad, and dinner (2 skewers of grille garlic shrimp, mashed potatoes, and pilaf rice). and guess what, we had NO left overs, we must have worked up our appetites after kayaking with those gators (seriously I think I peed my pants a little when I saw them. )
Anyways, I start school and work tomorrow 😦 but on life goes. i cant wait to kayak again but I dont want to run in to gators Im so terrified
anyways… good day 🙂
Posted in anxiety, Family, Health, Hobbies, Kayaking, Paddling, Steven, my love, Vacation
Tagged Alligator, Canoeing and Kayaking, Cecil Webb, fishing, kayak, Kayak fishing, kayaking, Outdoors, paddling, Red Lobster, Sports, water, water sports
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOT KAYAKS!!!!!!!!!!!! lol, excited does not even explain. Tomorow Steven and I are taking the kayaks out and fishing – ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS wrapped into one activity- kayak fishing WOOT. I hope it goes smoothly. Its my last day of vacation from work and school and back the grind it is next week,
SO EXCITED UGH (about the kayaks, not work lol).
Hopefully Ill remember to take pictures!
Posted in Family, Hobbies, Kayaking, Paddling, Steven, my love, Vacation
Tagged boat, fishing, fun, kayak, Kayak fishing, Outdoors, paddling, recreation, vacation, water, water sports, watercraft