Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Black Friday

Black Friday: the day after Thanksgiving where people dont sleep and stay up all night to go shopping for deals (usually fights and crazy things occur over lots of items) and then sleep all afternoon. (I am not partaking in such nonsense lol).

About to head off for work, its 5 AM and Im so sick ugh, it sucks, I want to lay in bed and sleep all day and I still have two more days of work.

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is almost every American’s favorite holiday- Thanksgiving (YAY). Food, family, and more food! I have to work today (which really sucks). And- my face is swollen cause something bit me right under my eye last night when I was sleeping. Every time I look down I see a big lump and it hurts and itches (lovely). BUT-  I am thankful for my sweet Jesus who has had the mercy to save ME. Little old (not really old lol) me who has done nothing for Him, who often forgets to treat Him like the friend He is, who does not always trust him with my whole heart like I should. Thank you Jesus. I am so very thankful that I have a supportive family. Today I thought I would be at home holding my baby boy and passing him around to show him off to relatives but today is lonely day. I will be at work with one other person with no son at home waiting for me. Im sad yes, but I still have a wonderful family who has been there for me always, and especially in the last two months. I am thankful for my friends. It seems like they are few but I am thankful. What would I do if I didnt have other people around to just get away and have fun with? Im thankful for the food I have. There are so many who go without. Im thankful for the roof over my head and the clothes I wear. I literally weep in the car every time I see a homeless person on my way to work. I cant imagine trying to fight off people and animals, the dark cold nights, and the sunny hot days. I don’t have to do any of that. I am thankful.  I am thankful for the things that I have to enjoy myself. Crocheting, art, singing, my car, my job. Things God provided to keep me busy. Thank you Lord.

The last few days I’ve been sick, I sill am today. I just feel yucky and snotty and all gucked up (thats not a real word, its just how I feel lol). I havnt written because of this. A couple of days ago I went into Seths room.

Its a mess but I dont want to do anything with it. It was nice and clean but when I came home from the hospital everyone shoved stuff in it to keep me from seeing it (I understand). It still smells like baby from the wipes and dreft. Sometimes I go in there just to look through things. I miss the excitement of going through the baby stuff and now I cant do that.

This is what we got from the hospital it was nice. I just need to see it  sometimes.

Miss you Seth.

I bought more crocheting stuff.

Im gonna try and learn patterns, in between all of the other junk Im trying to get done lol.

Happy thanksgiving.

Fear not… You are God alone

For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind…..

Today was Sunday of course. We went to church. After the choir sang worship the kids group came up and sang a thanksgiving song and right before they sang the little kids walked up and said what they were thankful for. One little boy walked up and slurred out “I’m thankful for my family”. Steven burst into tears. I could not help it, I just bawled. I am thankful that my husband does express his emotions, especially because he does not do it a lot. He left halfway through the kid’s song and I met him in the foyer after we did the choir special. We eventually made our way back into the service.

What drives you… What inspires you… What makes you wonder, think, what is on your mind most of the time.

I have found that fear is. It’s so unfortunate. I am drowning in fear and anxiety. I fear that these stabbing pains and itching is something worse than what I think, I fear that I will pass away without someone by my side, I fear Steven will get hurt while he’s out working during the week, I fear getting pregnant, I fear having another baby, I fear not having enough money, (this one is irrational ->) I fear not having enough food and water. I REALLY fear SINGING in front of other people. Its like public speaking for me but worse, I don’t have any idea why.

Tonight in choir practice I laid my fear aside and sang the solo that I was given but I was still shaking and I was not in front of hundreds of people or holding a microphone or standing. I just sat in the corner all slumped over and closed my eyes and worshiped. It was the best and most true worship I’ve had in a long time and it felt good. BUT, I’m still terrified to sing in front of all those people with a mic and standing in a couple weeks.

What is there to be so afraid of? I don’t understand why I let this literally suck me up and suffocate me. I just feel anxious. I just don’t feel good. I don’t want to be one of those crazy people who has to sit and tell a doctor everything I feel so they can suppress my emotions and turn me into a zombie. I don’t want to be another statistic. I want to be like everyone else who can control their own anxious feelings.

I love school and work and church and choir and crocheting and reading and drawing and painting… *phew* I wish I had enough time to really enjoy them all thoroughly though :(.

This week comes one of the most loved American Holidays! THANKSGIVING. I’m so sad that I have to work 2-10pm. I don’t think I’ve EVER worked on thanksgiving :(. Oh well… I took it so I could have Christmas off. I LOVE thanksgiving food! I’ll miss all of my family in LaBelle. Christmas though, We will be there.

Speaking of Christmas, here’s the tree I helped Krista put up, she did the lights though.

Its kind of funny in reality that we put trees inside of our houses for Christmas…

Here is the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree she found at home depot I think it was, anywho- Its CUTE!

Ugh I love it, brings back all of those childhood Christmas show memories.

And then there is the scarf I crocheted. My FIRST REAL project finished lol. Ok, its REALLY small so I’m giving it to a 5 year old because maybe she’ll appreciate the shortness of it lol.

Im working on putting a flower on the bottom of it now :). Heres the video that I’m watching.

I checked out my new classes work a few minutes ago- WHOA its a ton of work and its going to be a loaded class but I’m hoping I breeze through it. Ill start on the work tomorrow I want to relax tonight.

So Its been a long crazy day. I am just going to relax, crochet, and enjoy my beautiful husbands presence before he leaves for work tomorrow :(. I have to work ALL week (besides Tuesday) and ALL weekend so its going to be a long week. I miss that man already and he’s not even gone yet. I am feeling a little bit better tonight than I was earlier today. I hope it stays around. Im just going to try and keep a worshipful mind and stay calm.

* And dear Lord, I know your not a soda machine, so I’m asking this as humbly as I can. Can you make me feel better and help us get everything worked out financially fast so we can have a baby. I miss my boy Seth and Steven wants to “be stable” and “ready” before the next one… if you even allow us to have another.

Amen*

You are not a God
Created by human hands
You are not a God
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a God
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

[chorus]
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
You are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

[chorus]

[bridge]
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are