Tag Archives: ultrasound

Aside

I am soooo close to vacation! I get one week every four months to have off of school (4 of those days are off of work too!). It cannot come soon enough. I am stressing so bad. The only super … Continue reading

A Growing Girl.

You can tell when I come back to my blog and when I need it because I write like a maniac about how I can’t keep going lol.

School is getting more intense. I am now in my acoustic physics class and DYING to pass this so I can get on with everything. The book work surprisingly comes way easier than the scanning, but all in time, scanning can be learned.

Above all, I love my daughter more than scho0l. I wish I could spend time with her but I really want to finish this so I can support her with everything she could ever want. When I look at her she melts my heart. She is so cute and so lovable. Im already getting sad that she is getting bigger and wants me to hold her less. I just want to squeeze her all day long (even if she does puke or poop all over me).

Father’s day was fine until today. I sort of broke down a little after class, on my way to work.  I of course miss my daddy. You see all over facebook pictures of people’s dad’s. I wish I could see him again and have him hold Brea…

I miss Seth. Seth is the little man who first made my husband and I parents. He is the little guy who made our worlds, made us happy, made us cry, made us who we are.  He led me down this path of ultrasound. He gave me hope to move on with my future even when it seemed like nothing else was going to work for me. This month Brea will be 6 months. Seth would have been 21 months… Almost 2 years old. My little boy who I desperately wanted first…. I cannot believe it… Two years, where did the time go? it seems like just yesterday my life changed.

I remember finding out that I was pregnant, it was a scary moment. Soon after that, it was the best moment. Ill never forget the 8 long months that I knew my son, it was the best 8 puking months of my life!

If you wonder how I am getting through physics or how I am getting through this awful school load and work and baby managing… it is because of my son (and daughter), mom, and dad. These people gave me a reason to live. Gave me a reason to keep going. I just want to do something to make a difference in people’s lives, and most importantly- I want to do this because I want to remember Seth. I want to remember and relive every second I had with him…

No one knows until they have lived it. They think scanning is all fun and games till you experience real life. They think life is all fun and games until they experience moments…. Moments that change your life. That moment when a complete turn around happens in your mind. If you dont make the turn around positive, It will consume you with an awful depression.

Of course I still get upset when people yell at me or get disappointed in me, mostly because of what I have gone through, I just dont want to feel hurt anymore. I have learned to get over it and try to move on. I must make myself happy and do the right thing.

I guess I figured if I could not get encouragement at this moment for this class then I wanted to make it on my own and remind myself why I am doing this.

This is my encouragement. This is my love . <3.

besides all of my ranting— about Brea

-she can babble to anyone for hours. She grabs her feet all of the time. She scratches everything all of the time (bed, skin, shirts… idk it is weird). She tries so hard to crawl but cant. She holds her bottle till it falls out of her hand lol. She can sit up with support, almost by herself. She knows when  she is talking to mamma. She can scoot out of her chair and onto the floor. She has 2 animal blanket rattle things lol, a monkey and zebra- she LOVES those things. She loves her sing-a-ma-jigs, she laughs when they sing and she tries to eat their noses. She pushes away from me when I hold her except when she is tired first thing in the morning or sick. She hugs me when she is tired. She always welcomes kisses with an open mouth :). She is getting some meat on her and is sooo beautiful.

I love this girl :D.

The baby is a….. !!!

If you’re wondering where I went, I have been busy this week with doctors, days off, and practicing for a song that I am singing on Sunday.

So Monday I found out that we are going to have a …. GIRL!!! Oh my goodness a girl! What am I going to do with a girl!? Oh my word Im crying lol. We are so happy and so excited. Steven just kept saying in the ultrasound “I am so happy” over and over. I cant believe it.


^ 17 weeks 4 days. HR:158

^ 17weeks 4 days HR:158

^ 16 weeks 6 days (ultrasound at work 😀 )

It is a little hard. After the ultrasound we got in the car and Steven said – “I just want to go home and cry for the rest of the day, I miss Seth”. Ive never heard him say anything like this before.

These next few months will be full of bittersweet moments as we must take the time to go through all of Seth’s things and sort out the neutral clothes and blankets from the boy ones.

Today Im going to hang out with a couple of my favorite girls from high school (from way back when lol… ok 3 years ago :D) and then try to go to Once Upon a Child (my FAVORITE store) and go through some of Seth’s things before choir practice tonight. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, cant wait to see the baby again (im assuming I will).

I guess I should get up and clean a little bit before I get ready for today. I laughed when Steven told me that the reason he has not put away the pile of his work clothes that are taking up the whole dining room table or washed one cup in the sink that he’s used all week- is because he has been busy…. Wow you mean I havnt worked all week and done all the laundry and been keeping up with everything? lol… I love men, they think they are getting away with so much with their AWFUL excuses. 😉

Chocolate and coke

I really want chocolate, its all I can think about… I would go to walmart now like a crazy pregnant woman and get it but seriously walmart at night is dangerous, every time I try that a creeper follows me to my car … so- no chocolate for me tonight… but I am desperate :(.

I never had any cravings with Seth- none! This is so weird. Chocolate and coke Ive been wanting these things so bad during this pregnancy. Note it- my 21st birthday is coming up lol.

P.S.- exactly two weeks from now if the baby cooperates I will know whether Im having a boy or a girl YAYYYYY!

1st trimester coming to a close.

So… Im 13 weeks, still feeling the same- emotional, hungry, and sick, but its ok, its becoming normal. I had an ultrasound at the specialists office on Tuesday, it took all day (4 hours) waiting in the waiting room (UGH). The baby was STUBBORN, he/she would not turn the way the tech needed him/her to turn. We needed to see certain things like fluid on the back of the head and other measurements but the baby did not think that was important. There was jumping and turning and all kinds of silliness. The tech said, if you want to know what it is… it looks flat down there lol…. *sigh … she still said- Its so early, dont count on anything till the next appt (Aug. 7th)…. That will be the full fetal scan.

The genetic counselor said that I will see them regularly like my OB, once every 4 weeks  until my last trimester. I will see them anywhere from 1-2 weeks and will have a different test done at every visit. For example: non-stress test, bio-fetal exam, fetal echocardiogram…. its so overwhelming. I have been getting WAY more anxiety now that Im rushing into my second trimester, and with every ultrasound, there is a TON of growth. The bigger the baby, the scarier it is.

A lot seems to be going on, baby, school, need for some space at home, Steven and I working 2 different shifts. I had such a great time on the 3rd and 4th. Steven and I had off and we just spent the days together (minus my all day doctor appt). On the 4th we went fishing from 12-9pm and it was SO MUCH FUN.  By the way- I caught the most. (4 catfish, 8 trout, 4 snapper). Steven was shark fishing and they got a few bites but never got it in.

anyways, I now have to work like 75 hours between now and next weekend with only Tuesday off. It never used to be a problem but its difficult lately because I feel sooo unmotivated. I want to clean my house so bad and organize things and I have no motivation because 1.theres not space to put anything where we are … and 2. I have a human being sucking up all of my energy. … Here’s a picture of that human

12 weeks 3 days. July 3,2012. Heart Rate: 156

12 weeks 3 days. July 3,2012. Heart Rate: 156

12 weeks 3 days. July 3,2012. Heart Rate: 156

12 weeks 3 days. July 3,2012. Heart Rate: 156

I have another appointment with my regular OB on the 12th, next Thursday.

July 2,2012

Tomorrow is my appointment with the specialist. I am nervous but excited. I havnt seen this doctor since …well since the beginning of the year when he did all of my kidney tests and high blood pressure stuff. I remember at me last appointment he said, “ok, its time, you have the go ahead from me. Now when would you like to start trying, 1 month?3 months? 6 months?…” I laughed and said- um, I think were going to wait like 3 years, my husband does not want to really try yet…… He looked very baffled. He was a great man though.

im sure I will but Im praying I get an ultrasound at this appointment, its been a few weeks and Im just anxious to see how the little one is growing.  Ill be 12 weeks and 5 days and I know its early but the specialist does 4D’s to check on all of the baby’s features so Im hoping  (with a tiny bit of hope lol) that they can tell me what the baby is. Ugh that would be so exciting!, if not, I will probably have to wait another 4-ish weeks which is totally fine, its not that far away….. Whoa, in a little over a month I will be half way through this pregnancy!??? crazy!

ugh Im ready, lets get to the meaty part of this pregnancy, get down to business, and have a beautiful baby, UGHH I cant wait, Im so impatient lol.

When you say January you think next year and then it seems forever away.

I cant wait for tonight to be over. I have two days off the 3rd and 4th!

Stay safe rainbow

11 weeks today

It is a very rough day. I have been throwing up every morning since last Sunday. I have definitely gotten more sick with this pregnancy than the last one now that Im getting further along. I am 11 weeks today and as sick as a dog and I do NOT want to go to work today I just feel weak and sick, like Im gonna throw up all night.

anyways, with all of this sickness, I have a baby that I am so thankful for that it brings me to tears. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and he did another ultrasound.

At 10 weeks and 5 days my baby looks like a baby now. I just feel like it is a he, I have no doubts but who knows. Lets call him a he for now lol.

He was kicking and punching and rolling like crazy! The doctor even talked in a baby voice and said “look at that healthy baby!” lol. The heart rate was 158. I was so excited I forgot about throwing up that morning, (and every morning before that) and I just cooed over my baby. Im so thankful.

I go to see the specialist at Maternal Fetal Medicine on Tuesday, Ill be 2 days shy of 12 weeks. Im almost sure they’ll do an ultrasound and do some more testing. I get to see the same doctor who checked me for my pre-conception visit and did all my kidney and liver testing.

Anyways, I have to go prepare myself for work. I hope its an easy night.

Stay safe rainbow.