Category Archives: Hobbies

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for another year.

A healthy life.

A beautiful daughter.

Lessons learned.

 

I am feeling very very stuck in a rut with school. It is depressing. The teachers are hard on us, they look down on us. They demean a lot, it is not professional and as an adult it is hard to deal with. It is hard to keep a smiling face and stay relaxed when you feel like you’re being bullied. I came here to vent it all out and realize that I had a great weekend and am very thankful. I am halfway through school, I just need to chug and plug and really try hard to forget all of the stress that this school places on my life and just do things that make me happy. School is not what the world revolves around… it will be ok. I am an adult, I can handle this like one.

Feeling a sinus cold coming on and its making me feel miserable… as you can tell from my negative Nancy writing, I am burnt out, very badly. No one would know unless they were doing this. I wish certain people could get a taste so they could understand for five seconds.

Thanksgiving was good. I went to grandmas and took Brea. Grandma is not looking so well. Then I went to my mother in laws. Brea had a fun filled- food day. She loved seeing everyone’s dogs lol. I did a photoshoot with my cousin and her boyfriend, it went beautifully.

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I got to spend some time with my sister this weekend. She gave me a little makeover (did my hair and makeup) and I felt so good about myself for a little bit, it was wonderful. She did a little indoor photo shoot of me, it was so nice of her. She did especially good considering shes never shot manual before and she had no natural light and not even any artificial light. She worked that camera! p.s.- she made the jewelry and will be selling it soon, Ill have to post a link when she does, She is sooooo crafty!!!

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It was so nice, I didnt want the long weekend to end.

I only have 3 weeks. 3 weeks and this class will be over, I will get a 2 week break, and then Ill have a 2 month clinical rotation.

Christmas is almost here!

Brea is almost 1 !

I cant believe how fast this year flew. How many ups and downs there were. It has just been a blessing to have another year to experience all that I have, no matter how annoyed I am at school or people or situations, I have been blessed.

Thank Jesus for more time with my family. I have been given everything I need. I just need to open my eyes and make the right decisions towards happiness.

Lately I have been missing Seth a lot. I suppose it is Christmas to blame. Another year without my baby. He would have been 2 years and 3 months on Christmas day. Our 3rd Christmas without him, Our first with Brea. What would life have been like with a boy? Im not sure. But none of my friends understand. None of them wonder. It’s ok, It is not everyone’s story, and I certainly don’t want it to be. I guess its around Christmas that turmoil can stir and it makes you think about how much you life has changed. Your personality, your family, your entire life. Hopefully one day it will turn into something good…

well thats enough for tonight. I need to get ready for bed so Im half rested for school tomorrow.

love,

night.

 

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Aside

I am soooo close to vacation! I get one week every four months to have off of school (4 of those days are off of work too!). It cannot come soon enough. I am stressing so bad. The only super … Continue reading

Day off, side pain, crochet

Today is my day off and Im happy about that of course. I am still beyond exhausted, eyes burning, and body limp but its ok.

I am spending today crocheting ( I have a couple of paid projets that I NEED to get done). I also need to make dinner (something I havnt done in like 6 months… sad).

Before I started I want to write about the pregnany of course. (I feel the need to write all of this down so I remember next time and dont feel crazy for feeling something.)

I have this excruciating pain on my right side that stretches around from my back to the top of my stomach. Sitting hurts, laying down hurts…. I guess its just a part of pregnancy and I’m not all that concerned about it but it reminds me exactly of what back labor felt like when I started to back labor with Seth (except this is not running down my leg).  I have been having a lot of cramping in the last 3 days, and a lot of back pain. It does slightly scare me because my doctor said it could be a possibility that I go into early labor since it was only a year ago that I went into labor early with Seth and my uterus will do what it was used to experiencing. So now when I get cramps and back pain, my mind slightly panics because it brings back the exact feelings of labor last time.

Being pregnant for some women is easy (not easy with symptoms). Easy as in they have nothing to worry about their whole pregnancy so when they have things happen to them they just can assume that its normal pregnancy. I on the other hand think of all the things that could be going wrong, trying to keep in mind all of the signs that doctors have thrown at me.

I want to enjoy my pregnancy without having to keep track of ‘signs’. Keeping track of every little feeling makes for a much more stressful time. Dont take it for granted- the ease of getting pregnant, the ease of carrying a baby. The ease of having a healthy baby whenever you can.

Have a good day, going to get my crochet on.

Stay safe rainbow ❤

P.s.-  this is a picture of a 20week baby in the womb (I’ll be 20 weeks in 2 days)…. I cant believe my little girl is so big !?

Fetus at 18 weeks after fertilization 3D Pregn...

New things

The past few days the babys kicks are getting a lot harder and becoming more frequent. Its WONDERFUL! I love the feeling (Im 19 weeks 2 days today) .

The only thing is I have been getting awful braxton hicks. They make my tummy harden and it hurts for a good few minutes about 5-10 times a day. I did not really get an braxtons last time.

I am just so happy that Im starting to feel my sweet baby now, its the best feeling ever,

I feel really guilty about today but I just have been feeling weird. I spent a lot of money. I really want to save money right now but 1. I am baby nesting, 2. I want to craft. The problem: we have no space.

I bought quilting supplies because someone is teaching me to quilt and Im make a quilt for the baby… that was expensive. I bought  6 baby hats, 2 soft/bumpy changing table covers, 4 hand mittens, and 5 childrens CD’s, all for $20 (that wasnt a bad buy).  And I had to buy 2 work scrub shirts because of course the hospital is going into a stupid color change where every department wheres a specific color- it SUCKS (2 scrub tops were $43- THATS REDICULOUS- I dont even spend that much on regular clothes!)

I reallly really really really (did I say really) – wish that we had AT LEAST a 2 bedroom place. Right now we have the crib set up where our dining room table used to be (which we had to get rid of to move the crib in) , and we have the changing table in the living room. We have to get rid of the coffee table so we have enough room but Im so upset that I have NO tables- where am I supposed to sew???? :'(. I just wish I had a place to do me things and have a space for the baby. I feel depressed like Im in a rut. We can never get a place as long as Im making as little as Im making and as long as Steven is not making a definite paycheck every week. Working contracts is a NIGHTMARE because we dont know how our future is going to unfold.

Maybe thats why I went shopping honestly, because I just feel stuck sometimes and guilty. I want to have a wonderful home for our child and enough space to feel comfortable and call our own but unfortunately, Steven doesn’t have a normal job. I really want to support him but come January when the baby comes- were gonna have to make some decisions about how we are living.

Cant wait to see this baby and just forget about everything else. I cant wait to finish this quilt. I really do enjoy quilting, I just need somewhere to do it not besides my friends’ houses . I cant wait to see what it looks like finished :D.

anyways, now that Ive done nothing today I should get going ❤

Cupcakes and friends

I wrote a post earlier, which I deleted. Maybe I shouldn’t have but I was very anxious when I wrote it. I am still feeling very anxious but I want to speak out some good truths because its what I mentally need. I am having a rough night because Im feeling funny and Steven is gone, I miss him so dearly when he is working so far away.

Good things that happened today- I got to see some friends. Even though we all live 30-60 minutes away from each other, we all come together every once in a while and its such a great time!

I made  cupcakes for the first time ever! Heck it was the first time I have ever baked (and it was all from scratch) and they were amazing!!! they were smores cupcakes and DELICIOUS!

I sold a baby hat that I made, it was at a whim using some new yarn, techniques, and my own pattern from inspiration of a very expensive hat on etsy.

I have time to relax to myself tonight, I may crochet, Ive been making swiffer covers, these bobble stitches are soooo awesome and fun to feel, it would be cool to make a soft baby blanket with this stitch.

I have some anxiety starting this new week but Im ready to get through it because next Monday I have an ultrasound and I find out what the baby is!

Im gonna watch some tv for a bit… 🙂 night

Baby talk and crochet stock

I just cant wait. I am always so anxious about how the baby is doing. Its hard in these early months, you just have no clue what is going on besides your stomach growing like an elephant. Looking back at my old pictures of my pregnancy with Seth, I am now the size that I was when I was 22 weeks with him … but right now Im only 15… Its almost embarrassing but- I havnt gained more than 2 pounds, my stomach is just pushing outwards, the gas has finally gone away lol, now I just deal with peeing on myself….. very sad… but I totally feel the baby bouncing right on top of my now flattened bladder and even when I dont have to use the potty- I do.  I am just beyond excited to have a baby here and I am so impatient.

I am finally trying to get all my crochet stuff going. My goal is to raise enough money for my 3D ultrasound for the family to see and then if I make more than that I want to give it to my husband to build a buggy that he really wants. He has done a lot for me and has given up a lot of his man projects since we have gotten married so that he can provide and give me what I want so I really hope to make enough to be worth it for him.  Im just excited that I get to crochet :).

Tonight I have the ER- wish me luck, I hope its an easy night with good Doctors because I have a sinus infection and I feel like my head is going to explode, its hard to just breathe.

Hello second trimester

Its Friday (and 14 weeks) thank God!!! Now I just have to get to work and finish out at 10pm lol. Tonight I have the ER :/… I am happy about staying busy, not happy about being on my feet all night. I was on my feet a lot last night and when I came home my legs were swollen and throbbing (but my blood pressure is fine, its even just a tad tad low) and when I woke up at 5 AM to use the potty they were still throbbing. Oh… and of course the headaches are in full swing now. I thought I was getting away with no headaches with this pregnancy. I remember telling someone during my last pregnancy- These headaches last all day and nothing helps them, its just a 24/7 thing.

Anywho…  next month we get to find out what the little one is (as in gender lol, not alien vs. human). Exciting…

This weekend I think Steven is going out with a friend, he invited me and I want to go but I think Ill let him have some man time. Maybe Ill stay home and finish sewing the dress that I started so I can wear it on Sunday 🙂 and then maybe make an apron (that Ill never cook with lol) because I have nothing else to do… of course I will do all of that after I clean hehe.

okay, Im just delaying getting ready because I am lazy so I must go.

Stay safe rainbow.