Thank Goodness

Things are getting back to normal. I am functioning at normal pregnancy speed (which isnt fast but wayyyy faster than ear infection speed). The infection is still there but my ear is not throbbing and I can eat. Now all I have to do is get my hearing back and get rid of the little bit of soreness and itching– YAY- I dont feel like death anymore!

On another note, today is the day that ALL women have been waiting for. MAGIC MIKE is in theaters TODAY YAYYYYY! Ok, Im showing my youth off (lol) but I first saw Channing Tatum in the movies on my 16th birthday when the girls from church took me to see Step Up… It was LOVE at first sight! lol. Ok, at least on my end. Ever since then I have watched almost every movie that he has ever been in and I LOVE him. I have to admit, hes not the best actor, but hes the hottest one! Sooo… yeah, after work, me + Mike = heaven. Cant wait!

Steven has been in a grumpy mood so Ive been ignoring him lol, thats always fun, but at least it keeps me from getting in a grumpy mood. He’ll come out of it, Im sure he’s stressed. I miss spending time with him but with our work schedules the only time we see each other is when his sleep talk (or mine) wakes each other up at night. sad… He wakes up early and has odd jobs to do (while Im sleeping) and I come home at 11pm and he’s in bed.

I vow to thread my sewing machine today. I wish I had a little hologram that could sit next to me and tell me what to do. Once I thread the machine, I have NO CLUE what to do next ????? It has been 11 years since Ive looked at a sewing machine :(. I WILL conquer this like I did crocheting because I want to make cool things. I think this is a cool and an easy first project and Im excited.

I got the pattern here from pinterest. Its an owl rice pack!

http://justanotherhangup.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-birds-or-rice-filled-heating-pads.html

It looks sooo awesome! successfully completing this will help me feel more comfortable doing bigger things. My goal is to make some sundresses for my pregnancy (since they are sooooo friggin expensive). I bought the pattern for the sundresses online, it should be coming through the mail in a few days, heres the dresses that I cant wait to make (the long ones, keep in mind you can change the tops to match whatever bottom length you want)

WOOT. :)…

enough excitement for one day,

OH AND its the weekend!

later gators.

-Stay safe Rainbow

Ear update

Ok, I think I am just getting used to the pain. The throbbing, the feeling of my head exploding, it is becoming normal. I have been temporarily deaf though for a few days. I cannot hear anything unless you are YELLING in my ear. Its hard to work like that.

I work in the hospital, and in the ER every other day so I stopped a doctor in the ER and asked if he would look at my ears. He said well, both ears are badly infected and those are the worst ears I have ever seen, they look like s—….. Then he proceeded to say, Im a little worried that you have a malignant condition, let me look up some medication that you are aloud to have. He found some ear drops that were different from the ones Im taking and told me “please go see an ear doctor after this is cleared up or if its not starting to feel better in 5 days”…

That makes me worry. I have always had bad ear problems but I never thought it was tumorous or cancerous. Ive had so many weird problems with this pregnancy its making me very scared. Im trying to keep my thoughts positive. I have my hypnobirthing material at my moms house, I just have to go get it now, maybe that will soothe me.

So anyways, Im praying that this new medicine that the ER doctor suggested started kicking in, clears things up and all will be well at the ear doctor, because I will go after this infection clears a little.

Ive been thinking a lot about my rainbow baby. I am desperate to feel kicks and start experiencing the baby. I am 12 weeks and my throwing up has subsided. I dont know if that is because Ive been in so much pain I havnt even considered throwing up or if the morning sickness is actually gone. Last time it did not leave till about 25 weeks or so.

Im a little worried. I know Tylenol is safe for pregnancy but Im still worried. I took it around the clock for two days and now I am forcing myself only to take it at night when I go to bed.

Steven has been, of course tired of me.

Sometimes I feel so guilty. I feel like I dont care about anyone but myself. Maybe I wont be a good mom or wife. Did God take Seth away because of my attitude?

I just hope the baby is ok, I dont feel pregnant anymore. Ive lost so much weight this week that my bump is completely gone now and not being sick dosnt make me feel any better about the baby.

I have a specialist appointment on the third and then my ob appointment the next week on the 12th of July. As far as I know, they will both do ultrasounds. I cant wait till this next one cause Ive just been worried with how Im feeling. I did call my OB yesterday and they sounded very sympathetic for my pain but very unconcerned. She said to just drink soups and take the ear drops that the ER doctor told me to take.

Im hungry… gonna start getting ready for work, wish me luck, I feel stupid when I cant hear my patients or other nurses that are in the room.

Stay safe rainbow.

Chaos ensues …why?

Seriously God, Why me? Im so angry. I had a doctors appointment today and because of the stupid storm the office has no power. I was so looking forward to this appointment because I am MISERABLE. My other ear is now beginning to ache and if I put ear drops in that ear I will lose all hearing which means I cant work for the rest of the week (bye bye baby’s PTO time). My ear that has the bad infection is not even 1% better. I stayed up all night crying, there is so much pressure in my neck, throat, ear, cheek, and forhead, I feel like my face is going to explode.

My husband is sick of me being sick and he’s not being so nice anymore. I honestly want to go to the hospital and stay there to make sure baby is ok. Ive lost 4 pounds in 3 days because my jaw is locked up and I cant eat. But people in the ER will look at me like im crazy cause im there with an ear infection, unfortunately I know how it is cause I work there.

Why is this week turning into a giant pit hole? I am so desperate to feel better. I would stand on my head if it made me better.

middle of the night plea

I feel so bad coming onto my blog and whining but this ear pain is the worst thing I have EVER experienced. I can handle most pain but I cant handle this. This is day two of no sleep and I am sitting on my couch at 2 am crying so hard that I am hyperventilating. I just want to sleep so bad but Ive never been in this much pain before, Im not lying when I say I would rather have a baby than have this ear infection. I have caved and been taking 2 extra strength tylenol around the clock but it is not even touch the pain…. I just want it to go away. I want to sleep and feel better, I cant wait 4 days for these stupid ear drops to start working. I need pain relief so bad. I have to go to the maternal fetal medicine doctor on Tuesday at 8 AM and then work 2-10, how can I do that with 3 days of no sleep?

Im praying so hard right now, I dont know what to do, Ive never felt so helpless. All I can hear is loud thumping, my hearing is completely gone, my jaw wont open so I cant eat, and the whole left side of my face is swollen like someone hit (but no one did, except a nasty infection).  I just want to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over. What am I gonna do through these night hours (besides get struck by violent morning sickness cause Im hungry and cant eat)? All I can do is sit through each minute watching time crawl.

 

Im trying to be strong. I know I cant take anything for the baby’s sake but I feel so close to chopping off my ear, ugh. How could it get this bad? at least last time Tylenol eased the pain so I could sleep through the night, this time when I take it, its like I never really took it, I feel NO lessening of pain at all.

Sorry for whining, I just need to vent…

Ear infection again?

Im writing this to keep myself from killing myself lol… Ok that was a joke, dont start freaking out.

I totally have a non-pregnancy related ear infection. It has given me a fever and I feel like CRAP. My ear is throbbing, It hurts to talk or move my head in ANY way. Im not lying, this is worse pain than labor, IT IS! I cant open my mouth, I cant chew food, and I am in the worst pain I have ever been in. I feel so much pressure on the whole left side of my face, I feel like a baby is going to come out of my ear! I dont have any tylenol but either way my doctor told me not to take it cause my liver isnt exactly functioning all that great. I just want some pain relief.

Steven has been SOO good to me today. He took me to the doctor, thank God convenient care is open on Sunday! Then he took me to get my prescription filled, tried to take me to eat, tucked me in when we got home, and applied a hot pack to my face every hour with my ear drops for a few hours. Im trying to stay up because I really want to sleep tonight, I didnt at all last night and I just need a break from some of the pain.

Oh dear Lord, get this infection out of my ear, I cant do anything but lay here and cry.